Words

when you're here,
this is my perfect moment...
with you.


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shijin Jo-an
04 March 1989
Diploma in Business
Temasek Poly

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Rants


Tuesday, September 30, 2008
11:20 PM

Flying Without Wings - Westlife

the past 2 days at work had been great!

cos i got to get out of office.

and my mood is really good i must say.

laughin and laughin non stop even for the most 'not funny' thing.

guess i've fully adapted myself into this environment.

colleagues are opening up to me.

im gettin my life back.

i can tell dem that i wan to shit when i want to.

i can burp and fart during meals and in office whenever i want to.

i can laugh and talk loudly in the office even when no one's talkin.

i can laugh till the extent that they are tinkin that im mad.

i can express what i really feel inside.

im embracing myself through this period.

cos i've been thinkin,

since im alr in it.

and i cannot screw it,

and i have to tahan for 3 whole months,

and i cannot say "no" to any task given to me,

and i have to make my boss feel impressed by my work,

might as well learn to enjoy this job.

cos after 3 months, at least there is something worth lookin back into.

at least i have great colleagues who might feel sad that im leavin,

at least my supervisor might want me back after graduation.

its all the effort and attitude that i have to put into to make my life better.

SO YEA.

ENJOY THESE MOMENTS SIP PEOPLE.

learn to love it.

and u will see a different view of things.

=)

Jo-an says




Monday, September 29, 2008
12:09 AM

swimmin with shermain was great!

i love it esp when the sun is high up!

feel lifted. LOL.

i need to exercise to let my body relax.

wanted to go joggin today.

bud ended up accompanyin mum and ah ma to expo.

did i mention robinson's sale is on?

haha! OKAY. ITS ON!

aunt, bro and sis joined us after.

bro sis and i spent up to $400 plus worth of items.

and the things are all so cheap!

jus anyhow buy only.

i swear i threw everything i see nice into the shoppin bag.

haha.

i bought 2 PUMA jackets, a pair of burms, a pair of heels, 2 bras and detol shower foam.

bro bought 4 tops, 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of beach pants and gilette razor.

sis bought a top, 3 bras and a pair of shorts.

mum bought a pair of working pants and a pillow.

haha. poor mummy.

she paid for everything!

LOL.

okay. shall return her after i get my miserable SIP pay.

i wanna go swimmin again!

shermain i cant wait for sunday!

hahaha!

OKAY.

gotta go.

before i sleep,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA AND EDWIN!


have a great monday!

hahaha!

Jo-an says




Saturday, September 27, 2008
3:28 PM

This is the third time i dreamt of grandma alr.

The second time was last week when i came back from drinkin, i slept on the sofa.

and i dreamt that she scolded me.

i assume that she knew i went drinkin and came home late luh.

Last night was the most hilarious.

She was racing F1.

HAHAHAHA!

and when she got off the car, she told me " wah, tiring leh."

LOL! oh my goodness.

and bro dreamt of her too.

she said "asshole".

HAHAHA!

okay. its nonsense i swear.

but i still dreamt of her. so its FUN! hahaha!

okay random, i love westlife.

haha. hooked to their songs. they are so good in singing. i can feel the songs. LOL.

Jo-an says




Monday, September 22, 2008
8:10 PM

We flew above Singapore =)

thanks to sheena babe.

Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram




































Jo-an says




Sunday, September 21, 2008
1:27 PM

Today's horoscope states:

You are so busy trying to make everything perfect in your life right now that you're forgetting how satisfying and beautiful imperfections can be! Today you need to challenge yourself to step back and take a break from your attention to detail. Let your eyes focus on far away ideas instead of immediate minutia. Get a fresh perspective. Right now you don't have to prove anything, so relax and remind yourself that being less that impeccable is also called being human.

on a side note.

how am i ever gonna get drunk?

jus like i told jiamin, order 10 graveyards at one go.

mayb i will.

LOL.

i miss so many people.

pls ask me out. im jus a call away.

oh and, i lost my phone.

so all my contacts are gone.

pls msg me to tell me who you are, or msn me alrite!

thanks.


P: when we finally got together, for about 2 weeks, then it all ended again. she has some other guy.
J: wah lao, so that's her plan? get you back, hurt you again, then gone?
P: i don't know.
J: i have a feeling she'll come back to you again.
P: I just don't know what to do anymore. I think i need to see a psychiatrist.
J: see me la k. i give you counselling. not worth it okay. for just a girl. You have a bright future! You have more impt things to see to. and u shldn't crumble just because of a girl. Pull yourself up PP! You can be better.
P: Thanks. I just need some time to pick myself up again.
J: You can. And stop drinking!

My counselling skills are getting better k. hahaha. come on P!



Jo-an says




Saturday, September 20, 2008
2:25 PM

i tink of JUMPYY everytime i hear this!

i miss you many many yo! HOW'S THE FISH!

David Archuleta - Crush.mp3 -

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Has it ever cross you mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do

Jo-an says




3:41 AM

i feel horrible, seriously.

bud i dunno why.

its supposed to turn out good.

but it ended with a frown on my face.

whats wrong with me.

i dun understand.

i dun understand at all.

Jo-an says




Wednesday, September 17, 2008
9:51 PM

Kor kor is damn sweet.

he bought me a lollipop to cheer me up cos i lost my phone.

and dad is LOVE.

he's askin me abt how's work every night without fail.

thinks he's worried that i might beat up my colleagues or scare all the NSmen away.

HAHA.

last night had a crazy idea for tao huay and you tiao breakfast before SIP!

so EDWIN and I met at the empty seats outside Cartel at Raffles City to eat them.

LOL! at what time?------ 7:30am.

the both of us freakinly woke up at 5:45am.

all for this simple breakfast.

HAHA. but it was LOVE. cos its been like 495793476 years since i ate these for breakfast.

went to 2 coffeeshops before i found them. good job!

and Gerald finally has the time to meet me for lunch breaks!

like YAYNESS.

hahaha. e both of us explored the neighborhood opp SAFRA.

den decided to buy 4D.

LOL! bud didn't win luh.

If nt can buy new phone. HAHA.

nice day! out of these few weeks of bad luck.

and did i mention? i got scolded the moment i stepped into office this morning.

!@#$%^&*.

and its nt even my fault.

slap the supervisor.

went for membership recruitment talk at Sembawang Camp at 5pm.

waited damn long at the entrance cos the ROVER that was supposed to pick us up did not come.

den this guy gentlemenly fetched us with another car.

he's damn friendly. and i tink he's a commander.

then when we reached NAVAL DIVING UNIT, another 2 NS guys walked us in.

woah one of them damn handsome. HAHAHA.

OKAY. THATS NOT THE POINT.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

ITS DAMN SCARY.

let me explain the scenario.

*the 4 of us, 2 guys and 2 girls walked into the audi.

NSmen: WOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHH. WEE OO WEET! CHIO BU SIA! WOW WOW!

*stress stress stress.

Sergeant: EH EH EH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS! STOP BEING A NONSENSE!

*silence. with a random "wee oo weet" out of nowhere.

we started unpacking all our stuff with 120 recruits wearing shorts and t shirt tucked in staring at us.

i was trembling non stop.

den i started giving out all the brochures.

and every step i take to pass the brochures on, they will talk to me.

Guy 1: Eh you are the prettiest here man!
Guy 2: Eh dun so nervous la!
Guy 3 to Guy 4: Eh wah lucky la she pass you the things!
Guy 5 to Guy 6: Eh dun purposely drop the brochures leh! let her pick up so paiseh!
Guy 7: Eh! what's your name?!

WAH LAO EH. ITS TOTAL STRESS TO THE MAX.

I WANTED TO PUNCH THEIR FACES.

BUT THEY ARE SO SCARY.

what to do? smile and walk away.

but then ar, honestly speaking, they all look alike to me. and they are all quite tall and looks above average.

nt bad leh. but too rowdy for me. i dun feel comfortable with guys pls.

then the talk went on and on and on.

with me standing at the front side stoning most of the time.

then came QUIZ time.

usually only 3 questions are asked.

but we do bring 5 prizes in case.

1st question up. no one responded. so this guys stood up and answered.

den i walked over to take all the gifts then passed him one.

den the whole hall went mad again.

like "EH WAHHHHHH! WHY LIKE THAT?! LUCKY LAH YOU!"

den i stunned and went back to my corner.

den 2nd and 3rd question came up.

the whole hall raised their hands. with half of them nt knowing the answers.

KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS.

i really felt like opening the door and run out.

after 3 questions, they asked for more, saying that i still have 2 prizes on my hand.

den no choice. asked another 2 questions.

then cos the prizes are all caps, the 5 guys who won them wore it.

then the speaker went " WOAH. IM DAMN TOUCHED. YOU ALL WEAR THE CAP LEH."

then this guy from nowhere shouted "CHOOSE ONE LA. WE GIVE YOU."

then the speaker said " HUH. IF I CHOOSE, HE WILL WANT ME MEH?"

then that guy from nowhere shouted again "I WANT THE OTHER CHIO BU!"

like OMG. the speaker turned and stared at me.

i turned away with cold sweat.

cos the speaker is my colleague. and she is darn fierce to me in office.

den after everything, the NS guys had to submit their application forms for membership.

den there are 2 queues.

one is me, and one is another guy.

den 3/4 walked over to my side.

i moved back and back and back till i banged onto the stage.

the other guy colleague then came to help me.

the speaker jus carried on answerin queries and all.

OMG. i wanna cry.

the sergeant had to chase them out of the hall right after they submitted the form.

if nt, i would have suffocated like mad.

one even asked me "eh dun so nervous la."

they are darn smelly from all the sweating and all k.

but after everything ended, 2 of the guys walked us out.

it was a LOOOONG walk to the gate. and scary. cos its super dark.

i felt as though im at OCH.

but they are friendly and even took us on a short cut.

that mostly summed up what happened today.

its a very very long one. LOL.

but experiential.

today is 120.

friday is 400.

prepare to see me faint.

Jo-an says




Tuesday, September 16, 2008
10:50 PM

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE CAB!

WAH LAO EH!

WHAT A BAD DAY!

the 6 torn blisters on my legs

the 3 open wounds from the constant kickin of my heels to my ankles.

and the numerous paper cuts on my hand

almost made me scream in the toilet when they came into contact with water and soap.

i did not cry though.

i onli bit my lip.

ARH FUCK LA!

Jo-an says




Monday, September 15, 2008
11:36 PM

deleting my phone msges struck a chord in me.

im reminded by the horrible week.

i realised that i've forgotten to thank 3 special people who stood by me during the tough period 2 weeks ago.

They are Jiamin, Jumpyy and Kandis.

Their constant msges asking how's things and all, it was LOVE.

it made me feel u guys are there for me.

really thanks =)

and to those who sent their condolences and all, really, they are greatly appreciated.

okay, sadness aside, i want to rant abt SIP!

i know all the year 3s are grumbling abt SIP.

so am i!

actually, my workplace is nt that bad.

its the stress that im givin myself that made the workin environment so tense for me.

i tremble every night before i sleep
i get cramps on my arms and legs every morning on the bus.
i refuse to speak to my colleagues and all.
i shut myself from everything ard me in my workplace.
i jus want to concentrate and do good.

but, i hope all these negative thoughts will go away soon.
and i can pick myself up and embrace these 3 months with my enthusiasm.

AH BULLSHIT LA.

thanks gerald for takin bus with me every mornin.
it helps a lil though.
allowin me to rant on whatever happened the day before.
and keep stickin to you every morning, causin you to be late for work.
i need this little motivation to keep me going.
at least allowin me to see some light every morning.
i cannot imagine nt seeing you okay. LOL.
im like lost in a deserted island. with onli you to accompany and rely on!
so, dun pang seh me okay!

oh. nt forgetting seeing maybelle at the ulu bus stop every morning! HAHA!

and the ongoing meetups with kandis is gonna be LOVE.
we need each other's support badly.
GO ON BABE! you will do fine.
you will always have me alrite!
im here for you. im jus a phone call away.
in case u forget, my number is 83999....
HAHA!

and jiamin, go on girl. i know u will excel in ur SIP.
u can do it. i have confidence in you.
dun let any setbacks pull you down.
meet up soon okay!

JUMPPY!
i miss you okay! how's the fish?!
HAHA.

loulin!
where are you?! haven heard from you alr!

gekhua and group mates!
where are you guys!
i love LEI ar!
hahahaha. meet up for dinner soon okay =)

okay. need to sleep.
im working from 8:30am to 7:00pm everyday =(

goodnight!

Jo-an says




Saturday, September 13, 2008
8:23 PM

Till The End - Till The End


dreamt of popo last night.

=))))))))

she told us dat she came back specially to visit us.

and that she is very happy now.

she kept laughin and smilin non stop.

she told me that she can run and walk freely now.

(as compared to havin a wheelchair and a walkin stick when she's alive.)

she even explained why aunt did not come with her.

i forgot the reason.

!@#$%^&*

but all in all, she's happy now.

so im happy.

=)

live well granny =)

i'll be watchin over gong gong.



Jo-an says




Thursday, September 11, 2008
11:55 PM


when i look in

its jus a cold body lyin there.

so stiff and unreal.

the once so naggy and lovin popo

is gone forever.

i slap myself everytime i cry

cos it doesn't help at all.

i dun wan to cry

my eyes are blindin from all the constant rubbings.

why mus things be this way

we'll be burnin u in 12 hours.

i hate to see you go.

popo i miss you =(


the last time i saw u smile, was on this day, mother's day.





thanks all loves who came to visit. it meant alot. it pulled me through these 7 days.

Jo-an says




Saturday, September 06, 2008
4:52 PM

you're home finally grandma.

now, rest in peace.

=((((((

Jo-an says




Friday, September 05, 2008
10:34 PM

so sick.

havin flu and fever.

i wanna visit granny.

but i may pass my virus to her.

she opened her eyes for a few seconds today.

and the next thing is, she shut it close.

and shook her head vigorously and her body started jerking like mad.

her BP rose from 50 to 155 immediately.

and in the next minute, it fell to 49.

everyone present cried their hearts out seein her like this.

i ran from outram mrt to block 7 with the eyes of the strangers starin.

my mind was blank.

all i knew was, to get there as soon as i can.

Jo-an says




Tuesday, September 02, 2008
1:50 AM

Love Me - Colin Raye



i hate hospitals.

they never bring good news.

spent the whole day there.

im runnin out of tears.

DA JIE. dec will be too late. u know its impossible for her to suffer till then.

granny can u get well soon?

it hurts to see u like this.

i cant do anythin to reduce the pain dat u are sufferin.

grandpa needs you at home.

He's lonely and longing for u to be back beside him again.

i will be strong. i will.






Everything changed in a short 2 days.

my 12 days break will be packed with crazy calls and msges which will haunt me like mad.

everytime my phone rings, i will jump and stone for a few secs before respondin to it.

im useless i swear.

but on the other hand, i have to be strong.

if i crumble, everyone will follow suit.

Jo-an says