shi

2009-05-11T16:32:00.000+08:00

2009-03-28T02:04:00.020+08:00

Alright. i know that this post is too outdated. but i still want to post it!

cos i owe everyone too much!

OKAY HERE GOES.

THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY POST! hahahaha!

1 MARCH 2009!

it started with ubin trip with the TKD ppl on 1 March!

we spent the whole day in ubin and had dinner at subway in changi village.

Thanks Shermain for the birthday treat! =)

watched Marley and Me at TM at night.

Thanks for the limited edition adidas jacket yo!

It's pretty! =)

it was a great day spent with them as it had been some time since we last went out tgt =)

3 MARCH 2009!

Went over to school from Chelsie's chalet. HAPPY BELATED CHELSIE!

Spent the whole day in school for napfa. !@#$%^&*

not a really good day yo. my body ached like mad for the next week.

after napfa went back to chalet.

surprise birthday cake with the bestest people on earth. LOL.

initially, i was thinking if maybelle was bluffing me into the toilet.

but after 5 mins, i realise it was real. LOL!

and when it was 12, jiamin just say "eh happy birthday" in the toilet. HAHAHA.

thanks YC and Weng for the voodoo doll! HAHAHA!

and thanks girls for the Guess Wallet!

thanks guys =)

4 MARCH 2009!

went back to school to do stock take for the room.

followed by a dinner treat by maybelle at compass point MOS BURGER!

corn soup! my favourite! yum yum. LOL.

Shermain had been msging me for the whole day asking what time i would be home.

i was wondering why. and yes i found out when i reached home.

there it is, hanging on my shelf in my room, a collage done by her. LOL.

she had liased with my sis to hang it there.

it shocked me as i know every single change in my room.

Thanks babe for the surprise! =)

and do you know, for the past 20 years, i have never received a birthday cake from my family.

when i reached home at 9pm, mummy was asking shihua why there is no cake for me. i said it was okay, cos i dun mind at all. what matters most is that they remember.

surprisingly, brother rushed home before 12am with a cupcake and a tub of wall's tiramisu ice cream.

it made my day. thanks bro. i almost cried.

5 MARCH 2009!

Clique celebration!

met up with clique at chomps for dinner and off to ice cube for mudpie!

i almost got cheated into wearing a dress cos kandis told me that everyone is going to wear until damn pretty.

heng ar, i chose to wear casual in the end. cos i knew it would be a sabotage. LOL!

but i got cheated for believing that my present was a portait of myself. -__________-!!!

i almost cried when they told me the portrait was of me and someone else. LOL.

wah lao. not a good joke pls. i almost fainted.

but after opening layers and layers of wrapping paper, i felt relieved to see the present.

This group of adults sitting next to us took our picture and insisted that the picture in their camera is better than those in ours, and wanted our email add so that he can send to us. WTF. hahaha.

7 MARCH 2009!

went over to club to find Sir Lee as i know he have not been in a good mood recently.

but the most initial intention was to celebrate Ryan's birthday. HAAHA.

HAPPY BELATED RYAN!

it felt more like my cake cos i got to choose the flavour and design of the cake. HAHA!

prata after at prata house at gardens.

nice talk with Sir Lee. he's hoping for us to go back for training again.

great to see him again though =)

8 MARCH 2009!

Met up with 09 for a simple shopping spree and off to sakae sushi for dinner =)

supposed to spent the night at weisheng's place.

but cos i had to rush for 7am flight to bangkok the next day, i cant! HAHA.

this group of ppl has certainly made my TP life memorable.

Thanks for being there since year 1 ppl!

You guys will be remembered =)

This year had been great so far, with all the great friends around me.

i feel my life energized and full of hope.

Thanks people for walking through 20 with me.

its been LOVE =)

2008-11-23T01:42:00.009+08:00

A NIGHT WELL SPENT =)

woke at up 5:30pm today. well done. rushed to reach bugis by 7pm to meet up with CLIQUE.

this is a pleasant group of friends to be with. no school or club politics to worry about =)

all we rant and bitch abt would be our future.

and the group has somewhat expanded from 6 to 9 due to spouses.

each time we meet up for gatherings, the number would increase. but now, it has become stagnant.

i swear i ate so much today.

LOL.

Steamboat! and then on to ICE CUBE.

with them = LOVE.

The Group

The Steamboat

The Singles

The Couples

The Spouses

The Glutton that ate non stop for the night

The Birthday Kids

The Retarted and Bimbotic

The TWIN

Still eating. Guess how many sweetcorns she ate for the night. LOL.

The BESTIES

The Skinnies

The Independent Career Women

The One who brought me into the Clique

The Mudpie and Earthquake

The Retarted Couple

The Talks

The Camerawoman for the night

2008-11-16T16:00:00.009+08:00

I think my blogger needs some updates.

Last sunday helped Lion at his father's market opening ceremony at BEDOK.

LOL. shermain and i were mascots walking around the area to give out sweets to residents.

the weather was fine but i swear i was dying under the suit.

i could taste my perspiration and when they got into my eyes, it was burning.

and and! the kids are damn irritating. they kept hitting my butt.

but it was a good 2 hours spent.

earning $45 bucks. LOL.

shermain and lion! you 2 can get the photos from here? LOL. cos the files are too big to be sent!

=)

READY

GET SET

GOOO!

LOOK AT OUR HORRIBLE FACES.

GOH- DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER

PLAIN STUPIDITY

2008-11-09T21:20:00.000+08:00

SUPPRT SUPPORT!

I LOVE BUSINESS WEEK!
5-in-1 event by BSC!
12-14 November 2008.
Outside Library.

1. Show You Love for TP/Business in 30 Words!
All TP peeps are to come show your love for TP in 30 words! =D
All Business peeps are to come show your love for Business in 30 words! =D

2. Business Charity Notebooks for CCN Day!
Come purchase our Business Charity Notebooks for CCN! =D

3. I Love Business in 1 Minute!
How many times you can say "I Love Business" in 1 minute?
Take up the challenge & stand a chance to win attractive prizes! =D

4. Business Signature Book!
Come sign your declaration of love for Business! =D

5. Wear Yellow to Show Your Love for Business!
Seal Points awarded just for wearing yellow! =D

2008-10-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

COME COME COME AND SUPPORT OUR EVENTS!

2008-10-16T22:15:00.001+08:00

bro has moved up to stay with grandpa.

cos he's all alone now.

im supposed to be the one, but bro took my place instead.

and from bro's actions, i can see that he really miss home.

cos he comes down every night to watch TV with us before going up to sleep.

LOL.

bro i miss you okay!

HAHAHA. although you're jus staying above us!

2008-10-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

finally went bk for TKD today.

like seriously. i miss it!

helped out at grading as usual.

after which had a meeting.

was appointed the welfare head.

like OKAY, im incharge of all the instructor's welfare and medic for all tournaments and organising of all celebrations like christmas and birthdays.

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY.

i tink i will like this job.

cos i have shermain with me =)

there is no such thing as in charge when we're tgt.

cos we're equal in everything regarding TKD.

even our skills and timing, techniques and everything is exactly the same and on par.

LOL. sometimes i wonder if we are carrying the same blood.

after the meeting, went to macs for lunch and off to GIANT to get bicycle for mum.

she kpkb me for buying for her cos she said hers can be fixed.

like seriously la, hers is so old alr!

shld be kept at home to keep as an antique.

whatever la. am in a bad mood now.

2008-10-09T22:33:00.003+08:00

grandpa went for his hand operation on monday.

and cos he did not move his fingers to circulate the blood flow, the hand got swollen.

it was so bad, he couldn't hold any utensils during his meals.

and therefore didn't wanna eat anymore.

was worried sick.

cos i couldn't see him due to SIP.

wanted to visit him at 6am during his breakfast, but he was sleeping.

so went off to work.

i went to his room while he was sleepin jus now

and he woke up to tell me how pain it was.

it hurts in me too, to see him like this.

i wanna have dinner with him soon.

cos he's been pending for me.

im so sorry grandpa, i hate SIP.

2008-10-07T23:28:00.002+08:00

was feeling so sick today, but still went over to DTE to find Liyi.

dun ask me why, cos i had to.

wanted to faint when i was on the train.

but all my fatigue and sickness went off for awhile when she broke the news to me.

haha. guess what guess what.

LIYI IS ATTACHED!

hahaha! i was so happy for her.

that my face turned from a frown to shock-ness and excitement.

haha. i love seeing my frens attached.

okay. that makes me the most loserish person.

im the only one left with 0 bf.

LOL. im proud of it k.

alrite.

got to sleep!

JIA MIN's BIRTHDAY DINNER TMR!

YAY!

2008-10-04T23:30:00.001+08:00

i think,

i need to take anger management classes.

my temper is getting from bad to worse.

2008-09-30T23:20:00.006+08:00

Flying Without Wings - Westlife

the past 2 days at work had been great!

cos i got to get out of office.

and my mood is really good i must say.

laughin and laughin non stop even for the most 'not funny' thing.

guess i've fully adapted myself into this environment.

colleagues are opening up to me.

im gettin my life back.

i can tell dem that i wan to shit when i want to.

i can burp and fart during meals and in office whenever i want to.

i can laugh and talk loudly in the office even when no one's talkin.

i can laugh till the extent that they are tinkin that im mad.

i can express what i really feel inside.

im embracing myself through this period.

cos i've been thinkin,

since im alr in it.

and i cannot screw it,

and i have to tahan for 3 whole months,

and i cannot say "no" to any task given to me,

and i have to make my boss feel impressed by my work,

might as well learn to enjoy this job.

cos after 3 months, at least there is something worth lookin back into.

at least i have great colleagues who might feel sad that im leavin,

at least my supervisor might want me back after graduation.

its all the effort and attitude that i have to put into to make my life better.

SO YEA.

ENJOY THESE MOMENTS SIP PEOPLE.

learn to love it.

and u will see a different view of things.

=)

2008-09-29T00:09:00.004+08:00

swimmin with shermain was great!

i love it esp when the sun is high up!

feel lifted. LOL.

i need to exercise to let my body relax.

wanted to go joggin today.

bud ended up accompanyin mum and ah ma to expo.

did i mention robinson's sale is on?

haha! OKAY. ITS ON!

aunt, bro and sis joined us after.

bro sis and i spent up to $400 plus worth of items.

and the things are all so cheap!

jus anyhow buy only.

i swear i threw everything i see nice into the shoppin bag.

haha.

i bought 2 PUMA jackets, a pair of burms, a pair of heels, 2 bras and detol shower foam.

bro bought 4 tops, 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of beach pants and gilette razor.

sis bought a top, 3 bras and a pair of shorts.

mum bought a pair of working pants and a pillow.

haha. poor mummy.

she paid for everything!

LOL.

okay. shall return her after i get my miserable SIP pay.

i wanna go swimmin again!

shermain i cant wait for sunday!

hahaha!

OKAY.

gotta go.

before i sleep,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA AND EDWIN!

have a great monday!

hahaha!

2008-09-27T15:28:00.003+08:00

This is the third time i dreamt of grandma alr.

The second time was last week when i came back from drinkin, i slept on the sofa.

and i dreamt that she scolded me.

i assume that she knew i went drinkin and came home late luh.

Last night was the most hilarious.

She was racing F1.

HAHAHAHA!

and when she got off the car, she told me " wah, tiring leh."

LOL! oh my goodness.

and bro dreamt of her too.

she said "asshole".

HAHAHA!

okay. its nonsense i swear.

but i still dreamt of her. so its FUN! hahaha!

okay random, i love westlife.

haha. hooked to their songs. they are so good in singing. i can feel the songs. LOL.

2008-09-22T20:10:00.016+08:00

We flew above Singapore =)

thanks to sheena babe.

Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram

2008-09-21T13:27:00.002+08:00

Today's horoscope states:

You are so busy trying to make everything perfect in your life right now that you're forgetting how satisfying and beautiful imperfections can be! Today you need to challenge yourself to step back and take a break from your attention to detail. Let your eyes focus on far away ideas instead of immediate minutia. Get a fresh perspective. Right now you don't have to prove anything, so relax and remind yourself that being less that impeccable is also called being human.

on a side note.

how am i ever gonna get drunk?

jus like i told jiamin, order 10 graveyards at one go.

mayb i will.

LOL.

i miss so many people.

pls ask me out. im jus a call away.

oh and, i lost my phone.

so all my contacts are gone.

pls msg me to tell me who you are, or msn me alrite!

thanks.

P: when we finally got together, for about 2 weeks, then it all ended again. she has some other guy.
J: wah lao, so that's her plan? get you back, hurt you again, then gone?
P: i don't know.
J: i have a feeling she'll come back to you again.
P: I just don't know what to do anymore. I think i need to see a psychiatrist.
J: see me la k. i give you counselling. not worth it okay. for just a girl. You have a bright future! You have more impt things to see to. and u shldn't crumble just because of a girl. Pull yourself up PP! You can be better.
P: Thanks. I just need some time to pick myself up again.
J: You can. And stop drinking!

My counselling skills are getting better k. hahaha. come on P!

2008-09-20T14:25:00.000+08:00

i tink of JUMPYY everytime i hear this!

i miss you many many yo! HOW'S THE FISH!

David Archuleta - Crush.mp3 -

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Has it ever cross you mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do

2008-09-20T03:41:00.002+08:00

i feel horrible, seriously.

bud i dunno why.

its supposed to turn out good.

but it ended with a frown on my face.

whats wrong with me.

i dun understand.

i dun understand at all.

2008-09-17T21:51:00.005+08:00

Kor kor is damn sweet.

he bought me a lollipop to cheer me up cos i lost my phone.

and dad is LOVE.

he's askin me abt how's work every night without fail.

thinks he's worried that i might beat up my colleagues or scare all the NSmen away.

HAHA.

last night had a crazy idea for tao huay and you tiao breakfast before SIP!

so EDWIN and I met at the empty seats outside Cartel at Raffles City to eat them.

LOL! at what time?------ 7:30am.

the both of us freakinly woke up at 5:45am.

all for this simple breakfast.

HAHA. but it was LOVE. cos its been like 495793476 years since i ate these for breakfast.

went to 2 coffeeshops before i found them. good job!

and Gerald finally has the time to meet me for lunch breaks!

like YAYNESS.

hahaha. e both of us explored the neighborhood opp SAFRA.

den decided to buy 4D.

LOL! bud didn't win luh.

If nt can buy new phone. HAHA.

nice day! out of these few weeks of bad luck.

and did i mention? i got scolded the moment i stepped into office this morning.

!@#$%^&*.

and its nt even my fault.

slap the supervisor.

went for membership recruitment talk at Sembawang Camp at 5pm.

waited damn long at the entrance cos the ROVER that was supposed to pick us up did not come.

den this guy gentlemenly fetched us with another car.

he's damn friendly. and i tink he's a commander.

then when we reached NAVAL DIVING UNIT, another 2 NS guys walked us in.

woah one of them damn handsome. HAHAHA.

OKAY. THATS NOT THE POINT.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

ITS DAMN SCARY.

let me explain the scenario.

*the 4 of us, 2 guys and 2 girls walked into the audi.

NSmen: WOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHH. WEE OO WEET! CHIO BU SIA! WOW WOW!

*stress stress stress.

Sergeant: EH EH EH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS! STOP BEING A NONSENSE!

*silence. with a random "wee oo weet" out of nowhere.

we started unpacking all our stuff with 120 recruits wearing shorts and t shirt tucked in staring at us.

i was trembling non stop.

den i started giving out all the brochures.

and every step i take to pass the brochures on, they will talk to me.

Guy 1: Eh you are the prettiest here man!
Guy 2: Eh dun so nervous la!
Guy 3 to Guy 4: Eh wah lucky la she pass you the things!
Guy 5 to Guy 6: Eh dun purposely drop the brochures leh! let her pick up so paiseh!
Guy 7: Eh! what's your name?!

WAH LAO EH. ITS TOTAL STRESS TO THE MAX.

I WANTED TO PUNCH THEIR FACES.

BUT THEY ARE SO SCARY.

what to do? smile and walk away.

but then ar, honestly speaking, they all look alike to me. and they are all quite tall and looks above average.

nt bad leh. but too rowdy for me. i dun feel comfortable with guys pls.

then the talk went on and on and on.

with me standing at the front side stoning most of the time.

then came QUIZ time.

usually only 3 questions are asked.

but we do bring 5 prizes in case.

1st question up. no one responded. so this guys stood up and answered.

den i walked over to take all the gifts then passed him one.

den the whole hall went mad again.

like "EH WAHHHHHH! WHY LIKE THAT?! LUCKY LAH YOU!"

den i stunned and went back to my corner.

den 2nd and 3rd question came up.

the whole hall raised their hands. with half of them nt knowing the answers.

KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS.

i really felt like opening the door and run out.

after 3 questions, they asked for more, saying that i still have 2 prizes on my hand.

den no choice. asked another 2 questions.

then cos the prizes are all caps, the 5 guys who won them wore it.

then the speaker went " WOAH. IM DAMN TOUCHED. YOU ALL WEAR THE CAP LEH."

then this guy from nowhere shouted "CHOOSE ONE LA. WE GIVE YOU."

then the speaker said " HUH. IF I CHOOSE, HE WILL WANT ME MEH?"

then that guy from nowhere shouted again "I WANT THE OTHER CHIO BU!"

like OMG. the speaker turned and stared at me.

i turned away with cold sweat.

cos the speaker is my colleague. and she is darn fierce to me in office.

den after everything, the NS guys had to submit their application forms for membership.

den there are 2 queues.

one is me, and one is another guy.

den 3/4 walked over to my side.

i moved back and back and back till i banged onto the stage.

the other guy colleague then came to help me.

the speaker jus carried on answerin queries and all.

OMG. i wanna cry.

the sergeant had to chase them out of the hall right after they submitted the form.

if nt, i would have suffocated like mad.

one even asked me "eh dun so nervous la."

they are darn smelly from all the sweating and all k.

but after everything ended, 2 of the guys walked us out.

it was a LOOOONG walk to the gate. and scary. cos its super dark.

i felt as though im at OCH.

but they are friendly and even took us on a short cut.

that mostly summed up what happened today.

its a very very long one. LOL.

but experiential.

today is 120.

friday is 400.

prepare to see me faint.

2008-09-16T22:50:00.003+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE CAB!

WAH LAO EH!

WHAT A BAD DAY!

the 6 torn blisters on my legs

the 3 open wounds from the constant kickin of my heels to my ankles.

and the numerous paper cuts on my hand

almost made me scream in the toilet when they came into contact with water and soap.

i did not cry though.

i onli bit my lip.

ARH FUCK LA!

2008-09-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

deleting my phone msges struck a chord in me.

im reminded by the horrible week.

i realised that i've forgotten to thank 3 special people who stood by me during the tough period 2 weeks ago.

They are Jiamin, Jumpyy and Kandis.

Their constant msges asking how's things and all, it was LOVE.

it made me feel u guys are there for me.

really thanks =)

and to those who sent their condolences and all, really, they are greatly appreciated.

okay, sadness aside, i want to rant abt SIP!

i know all the year 3s are grumbling abt SIP.

so am i!

actually, my workplace is nt that bad.

its the stress that im givin myself that made the workin environment so tense for me.

i tremble every night before i sleep
i get cramps on my arms and legs every morning on the bus.
i refuse to speak to my colleagues and all.
i shut myself from everything ard me in my workplace.
i jus want to concentrate and do good.

but, i hope all these negative thoughts will go away soon.
and i can pick myself up and embrace these 3 months with my enthusiasm.

AH BULLSHIT LA.

thanks gerald for takin bus with me every mornin.
it helps a lil though.
allowin me to rant on whatever happened the day before.
and keep stickin to you every morning, causin you to be late for work.
i need this little motivation to keep me going.
at least allowin me to see some light every morning.
i cannot imagine nt seeing you okay. LOL.
im like lost in a deserted island. with onli you to accompany and rely on!
so, dun pang seh me okay!

oh. nt forgetting seeing maybelle at the ulu bus stop every morning! HAHA!

and the ongoing meetups with kandis is gonna be LOVE.
we need each other's support badly.
GO ON BABE! you will do fine.
you will always have me alrite!
im here for you. im jus a phone call away.
in case u forget, my number is 83999....
HAHA!

and jiamin, go on girl. i know u will excel in ur SIP.
u can do it. i have confidence in you.
dun let any setbacks pull you down.
meet up soon okay!

JUMPPY!
i miss you okay! how's the fish?!
HAHA.

loulin!
where are you?! haven heard from you alr!

gekhua and group mates!
where are you guys!
i love LEI ar!
hahahaha. meet up for dinner soon okay =)

okay. need to sleep.
im working from 8:30am to 7:00pm everyday =(

goodnight!

2008-09-13T20:23:00.003+08:00

Till The End - Till The End

dreamt of popo last night.

=))))))))

she told us dat she came back specially to visit us.

and that she is very happy now.

she kept laughin and smilin non stop.

she told me that she can run and walk freely now.

(as compared to havin a wheelchair and a walkin stick when she's alive.)

she even explained why aunt did not come with her.

i forgot the reason.

!@#$%^&*

but all in all, she's happy now.

so im happy.

=)

live well granny =)

i'll be watchin over gong gong.

2008-09-11T23:55:00.004+08:00

when i look in

its jus a cold body lyin there.

so stiff and unreal.

the once so naggy and lovin popo

is gone forever.

i slap myself everytime i cry

cos it doesn't help at all.

i dun wan to cry

my eyes are blindin from all the constant rubbings.

why mus things be this way

we'll be burnin u in 12 hours.

i hate to see you go.

popo i miss you =(

the last time i saw u smile, was on this day, mother's day.

thanks all loves who came to visit. it meant alot. it pulled me through these 7 days.

2008-09-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

you're home finally grandma.

now, rest in peace.

=((((((

2008-09-05T22:34:00.002+08:00

so sick.

havin flu and fever.

i wanna visit granny.

but i may pass my virus to her.

she opened her eyes for a few seconds today.

and the next thing is, she shut it close.

and shook her head vigorously and her body started jerking like mad.

her BP rose from 50 to 155 immediately.

and in the next minute, it fell to 49.

everyone present cried their hearts out seein her like this.

i ran from outram mrt to block 7 with the eyes of the strangers starin.

my mind was blank.

all i knew was, to get there as soon as i can.

2008-09-02T01:50:00.007+08:00

Love Me - Colin Raye

i hate hospitals.

they never bring good news.

spent the whole day there.

im runnin out of tears.

DA JIE. dec will be too late. u know its impossible for her to suffer till then.

granny can u get well soon?

it hurts to see u like this.

i cant do anythin to reduce the pain dat u are sufferin.

grandpa needs you at home.

He's lonely and longing for u to be back beside him again.

i will be strong. i will.

Everything changed in a short 2 days.

my 12 days break will be packed with crazy calls and msges which will haunt me like mad.

everytime my phone rings, i will jump and stone for a few secs before respondin to it.

im useless i swear.

but on the other hand, i have to be strong.

if i crumble, everyone will follow suit.

2008-08-30T01:25:00.002+08:00

Jo-an BBOUNCY! says:
my hair nice? hahaha!

patrickkk! says:
hahaha

patrickkk! says:
of course nice la

patrickkk! says:
why not nice

patrickkk! says:
anything is nice

patrickkk! says:
as long as you're nice

patrickkk! says:
but you're not nice

patrickkk! says:
so banana is nice

Jo-an BBOUNCY! says:
WTH?!

Jo-an BBOUNCY! says:
hahahahaha!

patrickkk! says:
miss you la

patrickkk! says:
why never come ice skating today

what more can i say? i have no life =)

2008-08-29T22:52:00.004+08:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

IIIITTTSSSSS OOOOVVVVVVEEEERRRRR!

like YYYYAAAAYYYY!

hahaha.

im at a lost on what to do.

LOL.

cut my hair at sengkang with MAYBELLE's company after paper today!

my hair is so short now!

but its neater now la.

my 'extension' lookin tail is gone!

like GGGOOOONNNNEEEE!

and i had my bangs back. HAHA!

pls tell me its okay. if nt im gonna bang wall.

my holidays has somewhat changed.

haha!

tmr: TEF BBQ
sun: Vivo dinner and Villa Bali with BSC ay0708 and ay0809
Stayover at Jumpy's hse.
mon: Pisang outing
tues: IG camp day zero
wed: IG camp
thurs: IG camp
Stayover at Wei Sheng's hse with 09 gang.
fri: Meeting
sat: Sentosa Siloso Beach Resort
sun: Sentosa Siloso Beach Resort

mon: SIP briefing
tues: Travelling around Singapore with the girls to visit all our SIP locations.
wed: SIP starts!

TADA! what a great 11 days of FUN!

but im so gonna miss home like madddd.

daddy wans me to visit grandma more often. im afraid to.

gonna visit aunt this sunday =)

2008-08-27T23:55:00.006+08:00

im damn demoralized abt SIT!

so gonna fail.

told the girls that if i pass SIT, i'll roll on the floor from cheers to biz entrance.

HAHAHA!

that's how bad it is.

the fighting fish is suckin up all my attention. HAHAHA.

and i've learnt a new line today.

hide your feelings well, and it will make you stronger.

right Jumpyy?

LOL.

and im eatin cup noodles everyday luh.

droppin hair like mad. but i still like it.

i LOVE the hot soup.

it is the best remedy for cold days like recently.

Jumpy: eh lets eat cup noodles for dinner.
Bouncy: HUH. again? eh cannot eat everyday la. nt good for health.

* a few seconds ltr *

Jumpy: Lets go buy cup noodles.
Bouncy: OK! wah i cant wait for the soup. Should i get Tom Yam today instead?

OMG. i tink i change damn fast. LOL.

im addicted to it alr. HAHAHA.

stayin overnight to study was fun!

hiding in the dark room when the security guard comes is damn scary!

i feel adventurous when the guard tries to open the door but cant, and walks away.

LOL. oh my god.

my heart skipped like 3894287965384 times in that second.

its freakin scary.

OKAY!

last paper to go on friday, before i actually break up with my notes and pens.

urghhh. i hate MA and SIT!

they're so gonna pull my grades DOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN.

i cant wait for saturday - TEF BBQ!

and sunday - Villa Bali to drink with the girls.

stayin over at Jumpy's hse after.

and for both days, there is TKD nationals going on.

scream in the day, drink and eat in the night.

01 Sept- IG camp final planning/ Pisang Outing!

02-04 Sept- IG camp.

05-07 Sept - Sentosa Siloso Beach Resort Getaway with clique.

08 Sept - SIP briefing.

09 Sept - Travelling around Singapore with the girls to visit all our SIP locations.

10 Sept - SIP starts! like woohoo!

HAHAHA!

come on come on!

2008-08-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

oh my god.

I screwed MA paper upside down.

m so gonna FAIL.

!@#$%^&*.

i know how to do the questions. i jus gt stuck with the numbers.

ARGHHH. slap myself.

i saw grandma yest. she's so frail and weak now.

seemed to have lost 10 kg in 2 weeks.

my goodness.

she needs to do blood transfusion.

it started with 1 pack a mth. den it was 2 packs a mth. den once a week. den now, its 2 packs a week.

its getting dangerous.

zixun jie says she may nt live till the next new yr alr.

for now, grandma is jus waiting for grandpa to come bk from overseas.

den she can leave in peace.

im mentally prepared for the worst.

am i?

or its jus another ordeal that i have to overcome.

usually, the ones who will hurt you are the ones closest and dearest to you.

im holdin back my tears when i see her.

2008-08-24T16:51:00.004+08:00

on the verge of insanity with MA.

i hate accounting!

JUMPY! kill me!

i cant rmb what i have tried to memorize the whole night.

and now, its a new start again.

and paper is tmr!

!@#$%^&*

2008-08-22T17:21:00.009+08:00

On My Way Here - Ryan Tedder

Muggin with Joyce and Maybelle is LOVE!

hahaha!

i love them pls.

esp the crazy competition joyce and i had which left me with 0% of energy after 4 rounds.

its very productive. LOL.

for a more detailed entry, can go over to

http://thisismaybelle.livejournal.com/15772.html#cutid1

i swear my image is gone.

Maybelle! im gonna shoot you!

today's paper was okay.

i hope i can maintain the A i have for events.

come on come on!

all the studyin has to pay off!

love jumpy lah seriously.

going through all these shit with me. HAHA!

crazy tourism and MA!

after paper met groupmates for lunch.

haven seen them for a week.

haha. funny as usual.

jon, pat and i had no where to go after lunch.

e rest went home.

and we decided to take 23 to nowhere.

den i suggested MUSTAFA since its on the way.

haha! what a weird idea.

it's e funniest bus ride ever.

NUMBER ONE!

we had this weird and psychotic guy sleepin behind me. i did not realize after pat and jon kept laughin non stop and Pat was takin pictures. i did not dare to look back. so i took a pic with my phone too. and this was what i saw in my phone.

HAHAHAHA! I LAUGHED DAMN LOUD. and the three of us started laughin non stop.

we then started camwhoring with the guy sleepin behind.

LOOK AT PAT! HAHAHAHAHHAA!

HAHAHAHA!

He woke up anyway, and stared at us before he got off the bus at sim lim square. we laughed again.

KARMA I TELL YOU. IM GONNA GET KARMA.

NUMBER TWO!

after the psychotic guys alighted, I asked Pat to bluetooth the pictures he took to me.

i turned on my bluetooth and he sent to me. den Jon asked for it too.

he had nt turned on his bluetooth.

in Pat's list was:

Alvin Soh
Jo-an x)

den Pat said damn loudly: "ALVIN SOH AR?"

den dis random guy from the front turned back and said: "YAR?"

e three of us stared at him and i started laughing damn loudly again.

hahahaha!

Pat asked : "HUH?"

den he said: "I'm Alvin Soh."

den Pat said: " Oh, i was readin from the bluetooth."

i couldn't stop laughing and Jon and Pat started laughin.

My jaw almost dropped.

in jus a short 30 mins of bus ride and we met with 2 weird incidents.

The Alvin Soh jus smiled at us before he got off. Wah lao. We know u meh. HAHAHA!

okay. gotta start MA soon!

PS: im starin at the pack of MURUKU pat bought for me at MUSTAFA.

haha. damn temptin. its askin me to open it. NAWWW. later later!

when we're studying. HAHAHA!

Bye Bye.

2008-08-21T01:52:00.003+08:00

Dreamin Of You (SELENA).mp3 - Selena

this is gonna be an emo post yo.

so dun read if u are nt interested k.

click the 'X' at the top right hand corner if u're usin windows.

and click the red dot on the top left corner if u are usin MAC.

i miss aunt.

its the seventh month. and i dun feel her presence at all. But her images are flashin in my mind every now and then. Watchin money nt enough 2, funeral scenes made me cry. nt bcos the old granny died, but bcos im reminded of aunt's funeral. Coming back only at 11pm everynight after SL camp jus to say "hi aunt, im back to see you." and cry as i light the joss stick, and walk to her side, take a look, and walk away. Im tearing right now. i really miss her. When i smell Kate Moss in Kah Yuen and Yuting, Im reminded of her too. Becos throughout the 5 days of funeral, i was carrying dis smell.

Why mus it be so unfair? She is so impt to everyone in the family. Is it true that good people die young? den i mus be a very bad person. I hope im e next to leave. So that at least during my funeral, i still have frens comin to visit. and nt when im old and all my frens and family have left, den there will be no one at my wake. Pls let me be the next to leave. I cant take another one.

Im reminded of her everywhere i go and do. Memories of her jus flashes back. Whenever im watchin korean dramas, or watchin/ listenin to anything related to dance, i tink of her. That could be partly the reason why im avoiding to dance now. I think of her whenever i dance. I hate to be reminded. I will jus tear non stop. I dun wan to feel this way. I want to be happy. She used to fetch me to school for my exams, even during Os and in TP. She would wake up early jus to send me to sch, wishin me good luck for my paper and all. She was so encouraging and always dere for me. But when she needed us, we were nt dere. i have nt accepted her death yet. even when its alr 6 mths, i still cant.

Have been asking myself. If i were to get crashed and fall into a coma now, i may be able to meet aunt. she could be livin alone in another world, peacefully. Listening to all her favourite country songs and music, dancing happily. She will have no worries or illness at all. I would be hesitating to stay with her, and not come back to earth. Leave my cold body behind. Losing all my will to fight for survival.

But i know aunt would want me to come back. Becos i have a choice to stay or leave. She did not. She was still fighting at her last breath. No one was with her. We were all too late. She had been lonely all her life. Even till death, no one stood by her, askin her to leave peacefully. Her eyes wide open, her fingers clenched. She hated herself for nt going for treatment earlier. She regretted nt saving herself earlier.

I never had a chance to tell her how much i love her and how much i wan to share her burden. I really hate myself for being so strong and not giving enough. Why am i always regretting? Im afraid to see grandma now. Bcos she may be leavin soon too. I really hate it. Im avoiding everythin. Im tryin to tell myself that i should live my life for myself. but i cant do it. I know i should treasure whatever time she have with her. But i am nt makin the effort. Knowing that she is crying everytime she's eating alone, i refuse to accompany her bcos seeing her so sad, makes me sad too.

Im being selfish. I deserve to be shot. Im tryin. I really am. I need to think. I need to talk to aunt. I want to know what i should do now. What can i do to reduce the pain that im sufferin. I need to know what leads ahead. I need guidance. I need a hand, to hold me through this difficult period. Even if its jus a simple hug, a pat on the back, or jus a smile, i may feel better.

Come into my dreams will you? tell me what i should do.

2008-08-18T23:12:00.003+08:00

i feel for JON.

cos we're in the same boat, same committee, receiving the same comments from others.

read his blog. and woahhhh.

if only i can type the same things out.

i will be a very happy person.

but people will start criticising my words and all.

so yea.

so, read his blog my class, for u guys need to know how we main committee feels.

http://www.entremaneurwannabe.blogspot.com/

im nt talkin abt BSC k.

im talkin abt my class.

and of course, i've said like 9875934659263597207580 times.

i love my group.

=)

we'll stand through everything together.

if anyone is unhappy regarding Jon's mail, u can shoot me as well.

cos i have a say in it too.

and i agree with him totally.

go JON!

2008-08-17T22:29:00.006+08:00

saw this rainbow at my balcony on national day!

studying in sch on a sunday is great!

cos there's no one! (a few la)

the only few probs was no food, no aircon, no lights.

LOL! we had to constantly ask ard for coins to buy things from the machines.

BBQ with the bunch of maniacs last friday was great!

HAHAHA!

we went crazy i swear, jumping frog jumps from the pathway to the lamp post (although i did nt do it.), singing all the songs in my phone out loud, playing king's game and zhong ji mi ma. pushing as to who's turn to be the chef, forcing one another to TA, kenny's wonderful dishes (i love the straw mushroom and bacon wrap!), and many other crazy stuff we all did tgt.

LOL.

and i fell off PAT when he piggybacked me! i rolled onto a nest of ants which freaked me out. bud i was laughing non stop. while sheena was struggling cos she fell off me.

get what im sayin? let me explain.

PAT was carrying me, when sheena wanted to jump on too. So PAT geh kiang say okay. so he bent down to let sheena hop on. When she jumped on, PAT lost his balance. Sheena flipped over, and i fell off.

TADA! wahla! what a nice piggyback game!

i hate insects. seriously. esp those that flies. SNAP!

i had a good laugh and i certainly enjoyed every moment of it! (Except for the gross licks and boobie touches). LOL! girl to girl OKAY. no ill thinking!

after which went to PAT's place to crash.

His place is like WOOOOOOAH.

hahahaha! damn cosy!

i fell asleep. HAHA!

and he's damn hospitable pls. Took pictures of our unglam sleeping postures! You better delete!

more of such gatherings okay!

i really love u guys many many!

tink i'll suffer through the whole sem without u guys.

LOVE LOVE!

hahaha.

AND LOOK AT THIS. played zhong ji mi ma.

PLAIN LEMONS???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

they are blended with BOMBAY SAPPHIRE, GINEBRA SAN MIGUEL, CHIVAS, HOEGARDEN and SMALL CHILLI JUICES.

like EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW.

its the ultimate bomb mann.

luckily i did not get any of it.

LOL.

and this last week's zhong ji mi ma ultimate.

HAHAHA!

GUESS WHAT?!

its cheese and ham pancake dipped in bundung!

AND WHO ATE IT?

KENNY!

hahahahhaa!

look at his ultimate face.

LOL!

other than dis pancake there was another cup of drink.

made up of bundung, sour sop, barley, water chestnut and ginger beer.

i drank half a big cup of it.

felt like puking after that.

hahaha! but all in all its still fun!

and oh, this is the wok of bee hoon soup i cooked that day.

wah lao.

who in this era still uses dis kind of wok?!

me loh. hahahah.

im the bomb!

BABOMB!

okay im abit crazy now.

back to my books.

bye!

i love my group yo!

Okay randomly, i love DAIM CAKE from IKEA.

hahaha!

i haven enjoyed myself for quite sometime.

thanks ppl =)

2008-08-14T23:51:00.004+08:00

i should be studyin.

bud i went to watch money no enough with yuender, jing sheng, maybelle and edwin.

OMG. and i was the one who suggested the idea.

damn sinful.

e show is not as good as i thought leh.

mayb cos alot of ppl sae damn nice, so my expectations were quite high.

the only part where i cried damn badly was when the old granny sacrificed herself .

loser luh jo-an.

when it comes to family ties, i die.

cant stand it.

and wah lao!

im in huge debts to mum and dad can.

tink i owe them too much.

will nv send dem to old folks home la.

dun worry k. LOL!

oh and did i mention?

seeing edwin gives me the drive to study!

so appear in front of me more often k.

den i will have the motivation.

LOL.

and jing sheng kept repeating that today is our last thursday lunch tgt.

ya la i noe k!

after SIP den plan again luh.

sure can squeeze time out.

haha.

okay STUDY STUDY!

bye bye.

2008-08-12T00:06:00.005+08:00

i hate chain letters.

like seriously.

they always have like...

"SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 10 MORE PEOPLE, IF NOT YOUR LOVE LIFE WILL BE RUINED"

or...

"PASS THIS ON, AND YOUR CRUSH WILL ASK YOU OUT."

like... WAH LAU.

why would i send it out when everyone is going to spam it back at you?

if i were to send it out, more people will be cursed is it?

like, its not true isn't it?

or is it because i've nv really forwarded any of these kind of mails out, dats y im still single?

LOL! KNS!

STOP SENDING ME CHAIN MAILS!

i'll reply a mail to scold you i swear!

!@#$%^&*

there were 2 lizards in the kitchen jus now.

TWO.

and sis was screamin at the top of her voice while using newspaper to sweep them out the window.

bro jus walked to her and dragged her out of the kitchen.

like WTH?

i simply took a broom and swept them out the window.

this stopped the horrible screamings.

YAY.

jo-an rocks.

it was 11pm jus now and mum was nt home yet.

we 3 were worried sick.

tried callin her but dere was no ans.

so sis and i decided to walk the path where mum usually rides home.

mayb she had fallen into the drain or somethin.

and so, we walked and walked.

and bro ungentlemanly stayed at home in case mum gets back.

halfway while walkin, we saw mummy riding.

and we stopped her.

"MUM! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

"oh, i went for a drink at the ge tai"

WAH LAO EH.

worried for nth.

i've been bloggin like everyday.

its bcos i dun wan to bottle up my feelings.

its horrible.

so yea, i need to study alr.

bye.

2008-08-10T23:38:00.002+08:00

stop tellin me sorry

when u are not going to do anythin abt it.

if u really meant it, den prove it by actions.

fuckin pissed and annoyed.

im washin my hands off everythin.

2008-08-09T18:39:00.004+08:00

im gettin addicted to the classical songs!.

LOL!

oh and i jus rmbered.

HIPPOS LIVE IN A PONG!

HAHAHHAA!

2008-08-09T16:14:00.002+08:00

woke up at 3pm!

like woooo. i love home days.

LOL.

the 1st thing i did, was to cook for mum and sis.

surprisingly, sis was still sleeping like a log la.

hahaha. i only cook when i have a full day at home.

so mummy made me cook bee hoon soup.

i was happily cooking when she came beside me and 'hardukerned' a bunch of chilli in.

WAH LAO EH.

i hate chilli loh.

i jus stared blankly at her can.

den she went " what? this makes it taste better"

!@#$%^&*

den next up, she wanted to cook yam rice for dinner.

so she asked me to peel the yam and wash the rice.

LOL.

okay. back to keying the 1000 names.

im listenin to classical music!

i love PIANO.

haha.

2008-08-09T02:22:00.000+08:00

took this test from jiamin's blog.

im a....

Reliable Realist (RR)

(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)

Reliable Realists are down-to-earth and responsible-minded. They are precise, reserved and demanding. Their most prominent quality is reliability and they will always make every effort to keep any promise given. Reliable Realists are more quiet and serious persons, they do not talk a lot but they are good listeners. They sometimes seem reserved and distant to outsiders although they often have a great deal of wit and esprit. Their strong points are thoroughness, a marked sense of justice, doggedness bordering on pigheadedness and a pragmatic, vigorous and purposeful manner. Reliable Realists do not dither about if something has to be done. They do what is necessary without wasting words.

This personality type not only expects a lot of himself but also of others. Once Reliable Realists have set their mind on something, it is difficult to persuade them otherwise. They do not like to leave anything to chance. Planning means safety to Reliable Realists, as well as order and discipline. They have no problem respecting authorities and hierarchies but do not like to delegate tasks. They are certain that others would not deal with them as conscientiously as they do. In management positions, they are very task-oriented - they make sure that things are well done; however, they do not have a great deal of interest in personal contacts at work.

In relationships too, Reliable Realists are reliability itself. As partners, they are faithful and consistent, well-balanced and sensible. Security and stability are very important to them. They have little time for extravagances and flightiness. Whoever has them as friend or partner can rely on them for a lifetime. However, it takes quite a while for Reliable Realists to enter into a relationship or friendship. They have little need for social contacts; they therefore take great care when choosing partners and friends and limit themselves to a small but exclusive circle which meets their high demands. They tend to show their closeness to people who are important to them by deeds - their partner should rather not expect romantic declarations of love.

LOL. eh wah im reliable hor!

haha!

2008-08-09T01:31:00.007+08:00

i cant turn my face to LEFT!

something seems to be stuck at my left neck.

oh my god. its damn pain whenever i look down or left.

the first person i could think of is TAT YI!

i love his massaging skills. LOL!

damn shioK.

THANKS ALOT TAT!

im keying like 1000 names and admin number into excel now.

kill me mans.

my eyes are filled with alphabets and numbers that i see double visions.

LOL.

i can finally stay home tmr!

like YAYAYAYAYYAY!

its been like a thousand years since i stayed at home.

and its been 3 nights dat i've slept at the sofa cos i was too tired!

i miss my bed yo.

NATION HI-FIVE WAS A GREAT SUCCESS!

some pics up 1st!

e rest needs to be uploaded.

so next time k!

LOL.

I LOVE JUMPYY! hahaha.

Skipped loners outing today!

PITSTOP eh.

and i skipped drinking with sheena and mahjong/stayover with group mates at kenny's place!

damn sad cos im missing all the fun on a friday night!

haha. bud really cant go luh.

too tired alr! since last week mans.

the fatigue cannot be measured.

i need to key seal points and accompany mum too.

okay luh next time alrite!

i promise!

LOL!

love love!

2008-08-08T00:54:00.003+08:00

This post is specially for LOU.

hey babe, u're nt being irresponsible alrite!

i see u everyday at booth!

pls work hard and mug for ur papers and do well for ur projs k!

pull up ur grades dear!

im nt stressed out by this event actually.

i dun get stressed so easily alrite!

many things in this stupid nut head of mine.

i need to sort them out.

i'll nv regret takin up dis event with u!

cos, if u realize, since last yr as main comm till now, dis is e 1st proj dat we are IC tgt.

LOL. love u babe!

and u were a great help to the event, really.

stop reproaching urself!

=)

been havin alot of emotions this week.

i can laugh at one moment.

den the next minute, i start screamin and scoldin.

den the next minute, i smile.

den the next minute, i cry.

den the next minute, i start laughin again.

all these can happen in jus half an hour.

i dunno what's going on in my mind.

im going crazy i guess.

i jus need some time to think abt what i want.

and i know i have ur support in everythin i do =)

2008-08-08T00:22:00.005+08:00

NATION HI-FIVE WAS GOOD!

the participation rate was scary.

it really hit the target of 2000.

SURPRISINGLY.

really really thanks to all the subcomms!

without u guys i think i would have died.

and to all the students who participated!

look out for the flag yo!

I'VE OFFICIALLY LOST MY VOICE.

so dun make me talk/scream/shout/laugh.

i'll grab anything near me and throw it at you.

here's some pictures taken during class event!

e rest of the pictures are with PAT!

however, these are pathetically taken from my phone luh.

The event was a great success.

the only thing that spoilt all the mood was nightwalk ended when the event ended.

and we lost an ear piece for the talkie.

2008-08-05T22:12:00.003+08:00

okay.

i jus realised something annoying.

my spare phone died during nightwalk.

cos from what i heard, the campers keep smashing my phone to the floor.

LIKE WTF?

its jus a phone pls.

and now its ruined cos it rang and u guys simply jus threw it to the floor.

like HELLO!

floor hor! my phone is not a ball alrite.

thanks ar seriously.

there goes my spare phone.

and i lost 2 dolls too.

i dunno why.

2008-08-04T23:45:00.006+08:00

CAMP is OVER!

like woahhh.

never had such a tiring camp before.

its seriously fatigue.

LOL!

bud all in all, i enjoyed k.

its the tiredness dat brought the workaholic in me to a greater level.

i feel myself workin even harder for the club.

and i feel impt.

really really thanks to DESIGN, PROG, LOG AND FOODMIN for all the hardwork.

Its e outcome dat says it all.

and sorry for scolding everyone non stop.

LOL. im very serious in my work luh.

and i dun tink im a good person to work with.

cos i flare up easily.

Tiny bit of prob i will KP.

LOL. bad bad.

im seriously sad to the max cos i did not participate in nightwalk at all.

its like, dunno how to say.

i missed the WHOLE thing.

like when i walk into LT...

*claps and cheering*

NIGHTWALK ENDED.

den the next thing i know, everyone is going to bathe.

damn sad pls.

but i really wanna thank maybelle for taking over my job.

im really glad to have her in PROG with me.

cos we get to bitch throughout the whole camp.

and she was a great help in all aspects!

cos i had to rush over to class event.

and sorry for makin u fret over nightwalk.

cos nightwalk was supposed to be my responsibilty.

really thanks for running the most impt event of camp for me!

and thanks Amos and sholleh for finding design helpers for us!

and Yijie for ur Ki Tang skills!

it really means alot to Maybelle and I!

and thanks for accompanying her during Nightwalk.

cos her responsibility is HUGEEE.

and thanks to TOM and Jing Yuan for editting the nightwalk video!

spending 2 whole days in lab to do it for us without complaining!

ITS LOVE.

without u 2, i dun tink nightwalk will be as impactful!

ur video was so scary that 2 campers refused to participate in nightwalk after viewing!

LOL.

see how great u 2 were!

Tom! ur muscles are seriously hot luh pls.

Jing Yuan! You are damn colourful luh pls! I LOVE IT!

Anyway,

CLASS EVENT WAS A SUCCESS though.

i swear the organising comm ran ard like mad pigs.

PAT, kenny, Michelle and my voice can be heard at every second of the event.

its like continuously, we taking turns to speak.

Jon and Gek were on stage most of the time.

and its like everyone is totally noob to talkies.

LOL. i feel pro yo.

teachin them all the talkie etiquette and stuff.

hahahhaa!

all in all, the event was a great experience!

and i wanna thank my group for all the effort made!

im sorry i wasn't ard for most of the planning due to other commitments.

but im really really sad dat i wasn't dere for nightwalk!

i planned so much for it eh.

sadded luh sadded.

dere's no more chance alr.

boohoo.

pictures up soon!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

SUPPORT NATION HI-FIVE!

hahaha!

SEAL POINTS GIVEN FOR JUST ONE HANDPRINT!

HAHAHA!

2008-07-31T01:10:00.002+08:00

i told myself to study for SIT since last wed.

and my schedule since last wed showed " STUDY FOR SIT"

and so what?!

the test is in 9 hours' time.

and i haven even flipped one single page of the notes.

GOOD GAME MAN JO-AN.

11 chapters worth of notes.

25% of overall.

kill yourself.

nothing is d0ne.

i dunno what am i busy with luh seriously.

2008-07-30T01:45:00.000+08:00

The original video

The piano version!

hohohoho!

2008-07-29T00:21:00.005+08:00

Today was kinda moody!

which is bad. MONDAY BLUES?

dunno luh. damn slow mo today.

im walking at 500cm/min.

LOL.

went for training!

wanted to skip initially.

cos not in the mood.

damn shagg la pls.

today had tons and tons of sparring and kicking sessions.

i swear my stamina has gone wayyyyyyyyyyyyy down.

LOL.

i guess exercising can really allow me to vent my frustrations and chase my fatigue away.

esp my kind of sport.

HAHA. no one will blame u for hurting them.

for more info, go to

http://only01.livejournal.com/

haha. Shermain's blog!

look at our cui faces.

and my cui leg which is going to break anytime.

thanks to who ar!

block my leg with fist.

oh ya. since im blogging on TKD, might as well blog everything.

had interclub tournament last sat.

piang eh. regretted ar.

supposed to fight.

bud cos me and shermain TU too long, registration closed.

hahhaa.

den in e end we were jus medics to the whole tournament.

which was quite impt la.

cos after every match either both the fighters or one of them will come to us for ice or spray.

LOL.

we got a medal and cert each though.

which was quite useless cos we did nt earn it.

hahaha. budden we wanted luh.

QUITE RETARDED RITE.

we wan den have it alr. dun need to fight for it.

LOL.

did not take much pictures cos we were too busy.

cos we were medics yo. HAHA.

den was last month's PA tournament.

supposed to fight also la.

bud cos schedule too packed, nv go sign up.

den in e end go dere to support our frens onli.

shermain we damn losers luh pls.

hahahaha.

2008-07-27T23:32:00.003+08:00

okay.

i've neglected everyone in my life.

i'm a bitch.

i suck as a human.

i deserved to be scolded.

everyone pls dun come and tell me dat i've neglected you.

cos im neglecting myself too.

give me some space.

i cant compromise to all my frens.

no matter how hard i try, everyone's not happy.

so jus leave me alrite.

if u tink dat im nt a good fren enough for you.

2008-07-25T00:56:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN AH HUI!

19 years old alr hah!

stop being so retarded!

LOL!

daddy went overseas today AGAIN!

sat beside the gate and cried non stop before seeing letty walk over.

edric was late today.

lucky. if nt dey'll see me crying.

hurried to wipe off all my tears before she reached me.

its gonna be another 1 month without him =(

daddy come back soon alrite!

when ur work is done, book an earlier flight back!

im gonna miss u badly.

2008-07-24T02:13:00.002+08:00

im here trying to finish up all the food that daddy has saved up for me.

LOL!

im very full alr!

someone eat for me pls?

it will be damn disappointing if dad wakes up tmr seeing the dinner he kept for me in the bin!

HAHAHA.

2008-07-24T00:50:00.007+08:00

wanna show u the life that im leading with weird people.

OKAY LA. IM ONE OF THEM K.

lol!

when you are too stressed up with projects.....

When you're crazy over programming....

When people calls Gek Hua "AUNTIE", this is the punishment.

Your hair gets snipped off. LOL! these are PAT's hair anyway.

AND GUESS WHO IS THIS?

the winner will get to have his number!

ahahaha!

COME COME!

tell me tell me.

LOL.

*hint* he stays in jurong east.

HAHAHAHHAHA.

OH!

went to support TP's volleyball team for their competition.

i LOVE volleyball LUH!

bud too bad la. i've no background. so cant join.

LOL.

"SAH! SAH! DEFEND! DEFEND! SWEE LA!"

"LET'S GO TP LET'S GO!"

"NICE ONE! COME ON! TAKE IT BACK!"

haha. im freakin losing my voice.

screamed non stop.

and tmr there's rugby match.

will go down to support after program meeting.

WOOHOO!

i can join cheerleading loh pls.

haha.

2008-07-22T23:10:00.003+08:00

i've got no fate with buses these few days man!

hahaha!

after following sheena and lilin to the sinseh today, i decided to take 22 to meet darren to get my ankle guard.

(i injured my ankle again larh! dun ask me why! i hate ppl who block with their fists!)

okay after boarding the bus, it freakinly turned towards the interchange.

-___________________________________________-!!!!!!!!

i took the wrong direction.

dat's not the worse.

when i alighted the bus, i walked towards the 22 stand nearby.

and the 22 dat i alighted moved over to the stand.

im boarding the same bus again.

and the DRIVER is the same as well!

he looked at me as though saying " ARE U CRAZY? OR ARE U IN LOVE WITH ME?"

!@#%%^&*

felt so stupid.

can see his face wanna laugh ar.

okay nevermind.

after i reached darren's place, took my guard, and walked to the bus stop.

i was stoning.

and when i looked up, a 317 passed by.

and i stupidly flagged.

i dun usually do that.

LOL!!!

the bus swerved and stopped wayyyyy infront of the stop.

FUCK MAN.

i walked allllllll the way dere.

and the worst is, the uncle nagged at me.

wahhhhhhh laoooooooooooo ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i wanna fly to sch everyday!

no traffic, no naggings, no embarrassments!

2008-07-22T00:32:00.002+08:00

today was BAD BAD BAD!

haven slept for 2 nights.

and went straight to school for MA submission and Media conference preparation at 8am.

meaning, leavin hse at 7am.

wanna die.

reached sch bus stop and met kenny to go opp sch to get refreshments.

carried alot of things, with a heavy head which is constantly nodding, i had no idea where im walkin.

Was preparing the scene when tutors started streaming in.

I handed them their media kit and we started the media conference.

Halfway through the conference, i looked down at my feet.

!@#$%^&*(

i am still wearing my haviainas despite wearin formal wear.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'M THE HOST OF THE EVENT SOMEMORE.

i turned to JON, and whispered to him.

he held his laughter and looked down on his table cos he's gonna burst anytime.

we giggled non stop.

after the conference, we thanked all who came.

den tutor asked " Jo-an, why aren't you wearing ur formal shoes?"

i replied " well, they are under the table. i forgot to wear them."

and he laughed.

felt that i totally screwed up the whole presentation.

went to change back to t-shirt and shorts after that.

CEM lesson was hell from 2 to 5pm.

i spent the whole time studying for Events management.

wasn't even paying attention to tutor.

after which went to sleep in room.

couldn't really slp cos ppl are comin in and out.

before i know it, its 6:30pm alr.

MEETING!

den rushed up with shihui, yanti, loulin, nic and the rest.

meeting was fine, and productive. LOL.

u know wad i mean!

cos i had to study for test tmr, i had to go home straight after.

fell asleep in the bus as im too tired.

knocked my head to the side of the bus with a loud THUD!

woke up and stoned for 5 secs before going back to sleep.

lucky i was at the last seat. LOL. malu pls.

e next time i woke up, I MISSED 3 BUS STOPS FROM HOME.

!@#$%^&*(

got off the bus immediately.

i was so stupid as not to cross over and take another bus back.

didn't know what i was thinkin.

i walked home.

and along the way, the lamp posts on the whole stretch of road was off.

as in, all spoilt luh.

so the road was freakin dark.

and its infested with cockroaches!

imagine my state of mind, with a 2 sec lag behind kind of mood.

jumpin ard whenever a cockroach crawls near.

i swear its the weirdest day of my life.

i reached home at 12am sharp.

HOWEVER, dad waited for me to have dinner together.

he must have starved like mad.

mum and sis are asleep alr.

bro went for re-service.

now, gonna study for events!

another night with no sleep!

save me!

fatique is piling up!

2008-07-21T05:25:00.003+08:00

i got all emo after TRAVELLING TOGETHER event.

cos i had to part with auntie Ng Bock Lin.

She's 83, had 5 kids (2 sons and 3 daughters), her grandchildren are 20++ alr.

she kept asking me to visit her often, if nt she dying soon.

eh she said that me,shihui and tracy are pretty too!

and she also said that im damn GUAI, and ask me to earn alot of money in the future.

im damn scared when old people tell u dat dey're dying.

cos its never false.

dey know it when the time is up.

i wanna visit her next week and give her the photos of me and her.

=)))

anyone wans to come along?

2008-07-20T02:41:00.005+08:00

damn nice pls.

Sis took dis from our hse balcony.

supposed to be for National Day rehearsal i tink.

wah lao. if anybody does dis for me ar, i'll marry him/her straight!

HAHAHAHA!

and dis is madness. HAHAHA!

his voice is damn nice!

a MUST to view the whole video!

2008-07-20T02:08:00.004+08:00

had a freakin long day.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

i had planned it quite well.

but it turned out that everything was delayed.

Initial plan

9:30am-- Leave house with dad to go to Suffian's place to collect the sofa
10:00am-- reach his place
10:30am-- Reach school to place the sofa there and tidy the room a little
11:00am-- Finance Workshop
12:00pm-- Leave for TKD grading
1:00pm-- reach the grading venue at Braddell Heights CC
3:00pm-- Go to Hougang to collect Kandis's and Zhao Lin's Cake
4:00pm-- Meet Yvonne and Kandis at Serangoon Central to get Steamboat food
5:00pm-- Go home to prepare for steamboat
6:00pm-- Start Eating and celebrating Kandis's bdae and Zhao's belated bdae

See! its so well planned. HAHA.

BUT BUT BUT. all was ruined!

Actual Things that happened

Previous night came my mense and it was damn heavy.
9:00am-- woke up and stoned
10:00am-- Left house panicking as dad took 1 hour to shit
10:35am-- Reach Suffian's house cos we lost our way and couldn't find his place
11:15am-- Reach School for unloading and clearing of stuff in the room
11:25am-- Obviously late for Finance Workshop
12:15pm-- Left School for TKD grading
1:15pm-- Reached Braddell Heights CC with the grading already started.
5:00pm-- Yea. It ended damn late this time. change of examiner. Rushed to Hougang.
6:00pm-- Still stuck at Hougang interchange waiting for bus. I waited for nearly 30 mins.
7:00pm-- Reached home as Yvonne dey all had went over after buying the food.
7:30pm-- Still mingling with all the minor stuff like RICE and SOUP and ICE.
8:00pm-- Started eating -_______________-!!!
1:30am-- here i am, blogging while waiting for my hair to dry. Everyone jus went home

SO ALL IN ALL, i travelled 5 places today. feel damn power.

Even though everything was LATE, i still managed to accomplish all =) except for not being able to shop for groceries with them =(

THANKS Shihui for the brownie!

THANKS clique for the wonderful night of laughter and fun!

saw my bf Frilbert today! haha. he's this small kid at TKD. very playful and naughty. but loves to bully me alot. and he's freaking cute luh pls. and yea he's avoiding me now cos he's scared of me. LOL! but i'll still love him!

freakin tired. my eyes are swollen and all.

but i had a GREAT DAY!

tmr's/today is gonna be a long day too!

TRAVELLING TOGETHER EVENT.

you'll see me pushing wheelchairs of old people ard SINGAPORE!

heh heh. see! im doing some charity here.

these old people has never taken a ride in MRT and all, so im here to bring dem ard Singapore!

YAY! BSC WAN SUI!

we are so compassionate pls! =)

okay. i'm really tired.

my eyes are bloodshot and itchy and pain!

gonna get some sleep before waking up early AGAIN!

2008-07-18T00:20:00.005+08:00

i was at the verge of (...) jus moments ago.

i feel so useless and stupid.

i'm making everyone angry cos i have too many things on hand.

Sorry DAD for not keepin my promise to stay home every sunday =(

Sorry Edric for oversleeping and being late everytime u come to fetch me =(

Sorry groupmates for nt keepin my promise to hand my part of the proj by wed =(

Sorry everyone else for any stupid mistakes or things dat i've done =(

guess wad i have to do dis week?

meaning, till sunday, in this coming 3 days, my TO-DO-LIST.

For Club

1) Finalizing log list for nightwalk and Breakfast games.
2) Finalizing everything on nightwalk and Breakfast games and delegation.
3) Nightwalk plot filming (which is postponed to dunno when)
4) Route Planning for nightwalk.
5) Travelling Together Event
6) ~~IG camp proposal submission~~
7) Print more loan lists
8) Buying of N01 items (postponed to dunno when)
9) Finance Workshop

School work

1) MRND press conference preparation
2) MA proj submission
3) ~~Peer Evaluation~~
4) Finding 12 lanyards for press conference.
5) Follow up on Proj event at Legends
6) ~~SIT~~ and Events Presentation
7) Study for Events Test

TKD

1) Grading
2) Designing of t-shirts and logo

Others

1) Celebrating Kandis's birthday
2) Clearing of my room cos the celebration is at my place
3) Preparation for steamboat
4) Spending more time at home as i'm reaching home from sch at 12am everyday

and YES.

i have to freakinly complete all these tasks in 3 freakin days.

what more can i say.

im wonderwoman =)

2008-07-13T21:54:00.016+08:00

kandis jus asked me at msn " EH GOT GUY ALR NT"

i was like "?????"

den she sae " old alr leh"

i was like " dun have larh!"

and we went on and on and on.

bud e final ans is, NO. NO GUY.

LOL.

kns.

alrite!

dis post is meant for AGM!

what can i say?

i love my main comm! like so much. haha.

dey rock balls.

let e pictures do the talking k?

lazy to type!

PREPARATION/FILMING!

EVENT DAY!

im trying to load the video into youtube okay!

cos the size is simply humongous!

like 9000+ MB.

hahaha. kns luh.

OH!

AND AND AND!

BSC IS RECRUITING SUBCOMMS!

16TH TO 18TH JULY!

for more details, go on to http://bsc-subcomm.blogspot.com/

2008-07-12T00:41:00.002+08:00

i've got so much to say today.

haha. bear with me alrite? and if u dun like wordy posts, click the 'X' at the top right hand corner =)

went ICE CUBE to find LONERS CLAN. (can we call ourselves this?)

cos we are 5 pathetic loners who love to hide in BSC room whenever we have breaks or after sch.

had heart to heart talk.

and met CLIQUE dere as well.

we sat at 2 different tables but i managed to move ard to talk to them.

I mus say i have matured so much in e past few months.

my thinkin and mindset is so much different now.

i also mus say that JOYCE and I have the same brains.

like, we really feel and think alike.

and we are very rationale when it comes to relationships.

We see things in a different point of view.

and we see them from the big picture.

People has problems. we can never run from them.

but some problems are really caused by unnecessary behaviours and characteristics.

what people see as problems are so minor to us.

as in, i dun tink these problems should even exists.

For eg. Boyfriend sending a girl home late at night. I think its okay eh. Cos he's being gentleman to do it.

I dun see why i should be angry. Unless I dun trust him at all.

But if the girl has an ulterior motive, den its a different case.

But i know that my bf would be smart enough to handle her.

Not say all guys can be trusted lar.

but since u are in a relationship with him alr, u shld trust him totally rite?

AH YA. I KNOW I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE.

and i dunno how it feels like to be in a gf's shoes.

but, from my principles, it is right to do so.

I KNOW I WILL STICK TO MY PRINCIPLES.

people dun believe that i will sae e same things when i get into a relationship.

dey sae it will be different.

but i really think that my bf being kind to other girls is really OKAY!

cos, i dun wan him to be too into me.

as in, being so cautious so as nt wan be to be jealous, he isolates himself from all girls.

like seriously la, get a life.

i dunno how i'll handle my own relationship one day.

But i know that it takes 2 hands to clap.

Me being understanding alone is not enough to sustain the relationship.

and if my bf gives me trouble.

I'll punch him upside down and walk away.

that's e reason why i've been single for 19 years.

i cant bring myself to trust a man 100% to be with him.

unless he can prove to me that he's worth it.

jus like aunt, she gt cheated $$ by her bf before.

since then, she never trusted man anymore.

she warned me not to trust people easily.

and i feel that it is so true.

and i think humans should really treasure their lives la.

the world is ending can.

and they are all still being so childish to go for riots and war.

WTH?!

and keep losing so much lives.

there are so many people wanting to live bud couldn't.

and here there are, people cutting their wrists and jumping off buildings.

what is this!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!

stop it! its ur own life, u control it, not ur life controling u.

and i hate it when people spread things that are not true.

RUMOURS CAN REALLY KILL SERIOUSLY.

like what happened to some of my frens including me.

simple things can jus snowball as it passes on to each and other person.

and when it gets back to you, its like 1000000 times more complicating.

I DUN BITCH ABOUT PEOPLE OKAY.

and what i tell people are always the fact and the truth.

they are things that had happened and its the reality.

not stories that i come up with or whatsoever.

FUCK.

dun put words into my mouth saying " JO-AN SAY" or " SHIJIN SAY"

pls la. fuck you.

its nt e first time people tot i spread their rumors.

and i swear i never do.

if im nt happy with u or ur attitude, i'll tell u straight at ur face.

i will not go ard bitching abt u.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

and stop saying "JO-AN SAY this and that" when only 10% of the details are from me.

why must i face whatever that is in the society in my school life now?

i hate it.

and its the stupid thinkin that the society is cruel.

people backstabing each other in offices and life.

as people grow up, they think that being an adult is to bitch and gossip, climb to the top stepping on others.

It is the mindset and thinking that keeps this stupid norm going on and on.

if people were to stop thinkin that the adult world is cruel, then it will stop with everyone's effort.

why cant people jus live in harmony?

why mus dere be blacksheeps?

are they not worthy enough?

these are all personalities that we cannot change.

you are born to be what u are.

you choose ur own road and passage.

and all i want to say is.

I think that my mindset and thinking is good enough to make my parents feel proud.

cos i m able to protect myself from harm.

they do not have to worry for me.

i've been making my own life decisions since pri sch.

deciding the schools that i want to attend and the kind of life i want to lead.

my parents gives me the freedom of choices.

i make them myself.

2008-07-09T23:01:00.007+08:00

I love bus rides home alone.

These are the times whereby i can think and reflect on myself.

its also the best time to plan for my future and all.

dats e reason why whenever i see my frens on bus, i would jus sae hi, and continue my thoughts.

pardon me, but i really love going home alone. HAHA.

whenever im in a bad mood and im out of home, after a long bus ride, i would feel okay after.

and when i reach home, im brand new.

Somehow my thoughts were disrupted recently.

With too many problems surfacing.

Anyways....

wanna hear the ideas and dreams for my life?

When i've passed my average age, and if im married, my kids have grown up, my career has settled and i have earned enough money.

i would like to move to a country away from Singapore. maybe Australia or New Zealand. Or mayb, Africa? LOL. i can go Hawaii find godma as well.

buy a farm, rear cattles and other animals, own a plantation, live a life of peace and seclusion with my hubby (if im married).

if possible, help the people who are living there by educating them and improving their living conditions.

If not, I would do back pack travelling.

Hop by two countries each time i travel.

and back to Singapore before im ready to set off again.

and again, IF IM MARRIED, i would drag my hubby along.

haha. and in a SAD case if my hubby is a tooty kind of guy, den too bad luh, i go myself.

but i dun think these dreams will come through.

cos i have too many things on hand.

too many burdens to bear.

And i dun think i would want to let go.

cos they are my responsibilities.

Too many worries as well.

For now,

I worry for my family.
I worry for my grandparents.
I worry for my friends.
I worry for my studies.
I worry for my projects.
I worry for BSC.
I worry for my SIP.
I worry for my future.
I worry for my health.
I worry for my napfa.
I worry for nightwalk.
i worry for many many other things....

when can all these worries be gone?

i dunno.

sometimes i wish i will bump into someone who looks like aunt on the streets.

I will freak out, Yes.

but i tink the ultimate reaction would be to jump and hug her.

i wouldn't care who dat person is.

i jus want to hug.

2008-07-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

although tired, i was in such high spirits last night .

but today, other than lunch with sheena and the lame jokes from amos and yijie, e rest took me down totally.

everything jus went out of place.

i hate it.

i hate it when i try so hard to make myself heard, people simply jus ignore.

like FUCK im nt happy at all.

2008-07-08T01:06:00.002+08:00

today is officially aunt's 100th day since she left us.

was supposed to go temple to pray for her last sat.

but i miscalculated till thurs.

IM SO STUPID. STUPID STUPID.

and my schedule was packed for the day, so i missed it.

like what sis said, "hope that she is not too sad. as we only miss her 1 person, she has to miss all of us.=("

wah and im damn mad too.

cos i do not have any picture taken together with her.

like WTH?

for 19 years, but not a single picture taken.

regret regret regret.

i mus find one day to visit her.

and throughout AGM today, i kept thinkin, if only she is here to see what im doing.

and to see how much i've went through the last yr.

and how much i miss her.

i know she's there. and she will always be ard me.

helping and blessing me in everything i do =)

thanks aunt.

2008-07-08T00:06:00.003+08:00

AGM WAS A BLAST!

haha.

thanks main comm and helpers for such a wonderful evening!

it has been hell with alot of mistakes made.

but yea, its e process dat makes us enjoy the fruits of labour.

I LOVE JOYCE'S SPEECH!

made me wanna cry.

i miss 07/08!

alrite. now dat AGM's done, NIGHTWALK NIGHTWALK NIGHTWALK!

focus jo-an focus!

not forgeting station games and programming.

but NIGHTWALK NIGHTWALK NIGHTWALK!

and to add in, sch projects are piling up.

thanks PAT for helpin out at my work.

you're the best!

HAHA.

alrite.

im darn tired. but satisfied =)

pictures up soon!

LOL.

and yea la, sorry jiamin and liyi for using ur cams all the time!

but then, im lazy to bring mine! HAHA.

share share luh!

DOU SHI YI JIA REN LE.

2008-07-06T16:20:00.000+08:00

its been 2 hrs.

and im still staring at the screen.

not knowing how to edit my tourism.

ARGHHHH.

this feeling sucks.

i've never gt stuck like this before.

im getting stupid.

i feel so useless and helpless.

wanna kill myself.

2008-07-06T14:34:00.002+08:00

supposed to stay at home to adjust my life back to schedule today.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT.

Annoying projs are haunting me to the computer!

and here i am.

rushing MRND and TOURISM.

i dunno what time i will end.

but i'll defiitely try to do something abt my schedule.

life's a mess seriously.

after aunt left.

and im picking it up slowly so it shld be okay.

more time for family and grandmies pls.

i keep telling myself.

i tink i failed as a duty of a daughter and granddaughter.

i cant even spend a day solely jus for them.

and i swear im really trying.

im planning to stay at home every sunday unless dere are events.

if ppl were to ask me out, im sorry. LOL.

dis is a promise i made to dad last night.

and he's happy to hear it.

and he saed that hoped i'll keep this promise.

I WILL (try). haha.

im nt playing or shopping everyday u see.

im stuck in sch.

something jus pulls me to sch all the time.

and when im dere, i dun feel like going home.

dere seemed so many things to do.

am i crazy over sch? i dunno.

mayb its jus the love for BSC and my frens.

but ah ya, all in all, i love my family more.

LOL. im a family kind of person.

so yea, dun question me to choose between my frens and family.

alrite!

gotta rush my projs!

if nt i cant do the things i wan today!

and oh yea!

i feel productive dis week.

heh heh.

cos i went jogging on tues and fri!

and i hope dat my stamina will come back.

I WANT MY 12 MINS BACK!

TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW!

BSC AGM.

so come if u are free okay!

SEAL POINTS GIVEN YO!

2008-07-03T00:17:00.002+08:00

BOO...

i wanna cry.

i see pimples all over my face and dark rings surrounding my eyes.

lack of sleep and too much stress!

stress? i dun tink so. mayb im jus too chiong.

am i? i jus wanna get things done.

its my pace i guess. LOL.

sorry group mates for pushing you guys so hard.

i jus get annoyed very easily when things are nt done in time.

i hate it.

u guys know my style rite.

i say dis date means dis date. any minute after dat i'll start screaming.

dats e bitch i am.

love me for dat =)

2008-07-02T01:06:00.002+08:00

Napfa Update

practised 2.4 with BAO and KEITH last week.

17 minutes. LOL!

ran again today with BAO, KEITH and MAYBELLE.

14 minutes.

special thanks to KEITH. lol.

running with me and motivating me non stop.

can die luh. bud i survived yo.

wanna run again on fri!

whoever is free can join eh?

INCLINE PULL UPS.

oh my goodness.

this is always the worst.

i cant even do one now.

LOL! BAO saboed me to do 3 before i can stop.

but i tried. really. It looks horrible.

but to him i passed rite? LOL!

maybelle is damn funny.

first time seeing her jogging luh pls.

feel a sense of accomplishment to be able to drag her to the tracks.

LOL! but she ran with BAO while i was with KEITH.

okay enough abt Napfa.

MEETING and on the way home

rushed back to room after exercising cos gt meeting.

no time to bathe so maybelle and i jus changed our top and went ahead.

felt stinky. bud i sprayed body spray!

on the bus home, i tot i was smelly enough.

this guy! yes! its a guy!

he came and sat beside me!

he's quite stinky alr.

and he left his shoe bag on top of his lap facing me.

can u imagine? the shoe bag is only less than 50cm from my nose.

its freaking smelly.

almost took out my spray to spray at him!

bud mayb he smelled it too.

so he put on the floor.

wah piang. i wanna faint.

alrite. so now im clean and nice again!

shall go slp!

there is test tmr!

gonna wake up early to revise.

oh my goodness. i hate CEM.

2008-06-29T17:05:00.011+08:00

Maybelle! i'll be using ur blog template for the time-being k!

until i find another one!

cos i like urs. LOL!

i noe u're nice! heh heh!

went ling yu's place for filming yest.

her house is BIG!

damn tiring cos woke up at 8am, reached parkway at 10 only to find us being the first to reach.

waited 1 hour for all to come.

i hate latecomers seriously.

i dun owe anyone to wait for dem.

and i dun like ppl waiting for me, cos dey dun owe me as well.

if im ever late, dun wait for me.

on a happier note, met up with TEF at clark quay last night.

the theme was "all black".

went home after filming to accompany grandmies.

den decided to join dem after dinner as i really wan to go.

called kandis and she came my place to find me 1st.

headed down to manhattan to join the rest.

rackied ard the canary trying to find a suitabale bar to settle down in.

den we went into MAMA's CARRIBEAN BAR.

dun really look nice from the outside.

BUT BUT BUT.

its freaking awesomely great inside!

GREAT SONGS, GREAT DRINKS, GREAT COMPANY.

was damn high. laughed non stop.

screaming at the top of our voices along with the songs.

dancing on the chair and in the toilet.

haven been so happy for a while.

and its really a getaway.

and i mus sae jiamin and my alcohol tolerance were really good.

everyone went crazy while me and jiamin were still stable.

i dunno how many shots and mixes i drank.

i see myself laughing once again.

thanks TEF.

i love u guys.

thankfully i went =)

2008-06-27T17:15:00.001+08:00

bad mood.

really bad mood.

2008-06-27T01:58:00.003+08:00

im damn shaggg.

bud i jus cant slp.

m i suffering from insomia?

let me slp pls.

annoying flu is back.

and my shit has blood for the past few days.

m i dying?

why cant ppl jus do their jobs sometimes?

m i too fast or are dey too slow?

i really wonder.

im nt pointing at anyone

bud dis happens to me EVERYTIME.

and i simply cant stand it.

2008-06-26T01:09:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHERMAIN!

im so sorry for not celebrating for u okay!

dat day will come!

wait for me alrite!

dis is a very tiring and busy week yo!

alot of tests and submissions.

haha. wait for me wait for me!

2008-06-21T23:12:00.003+08:00

Linked to Clifton gf's blog from Serene's post.

i teared.

sometimes i wish that i can be as frank as Serene.

and say whatever i want wherever i am.

she's so smartly straight-forward.

and i see myself in her.

ONCE.

long time ago, when i used to say anything that i want and how i feel.

bud now....

cant ar, im a changed person.

i hate hurting ppl's feelings.

and i dunno how to phrase it in a better way so that ppl will feel better.

im such a loser luh.

and jus came back from LTC.

lots of workshops on leadership.

and much of the points given actually struck me to think hard.

whether i m qualified or not, or what i lack as an individual.

well, i feel so tiny.

i seem to have lost all the confidence and pride that i once had.

i cant even bring up the courage to say anything i wan animore.

is this how ppl feel as they grow up?

being more cautious of their surroundings and all.

and would rather keep more things to themselves than to let others know.

which is which man.

Below are my rantings abt aunt. dun bother reading.

i miss irene ma.
passed by a shopping centre dat i used to went with her.
i stoned on the bus for a while, thinking when was it.
i rmbered walkin by the roadside to the carpark with her.
ppl will never understand how i passed my days since march 30.
for ppl who dunno, my aunt died on that day.
March used to be a good month to me, cos my birthday falls in march.
bud aunt left.
she's like a second mother to me.
and her departure sent me to the darkest moments of my life.
imagine how badly i cry every night coming back from SL camp while lighting joss sticks for her.
the 5 days were hell for me.
crying was what i can only do to ease the sorrow.
mum kept telling me dat aunt would not want to see me like this.
bud i jus cant help it.
i cried till i almost fainted on the last day.
and imagine how i went through her dairy and found out how much she actually suffered alone and not letting any of us know.
and imagine how much i hated myself for neglecting her when she's in the hospital.
not setting out enough time to visit her for the 2 months.
claiming im busy is all bull shit.
if i really had the heart to visit, i would have gone no matter what.
i regret.
i regret not being there when she died.
i regret not saying i love her so much.
i regret not calling her mum for my past 19 years.
(as she always tells people that im her daughter.)
i regret not giving her the 1000 cranes that i folded for her in time to save her.
(and having to burn it to her together with her coffin.)
i regret not spending enough time with her for the last time.
and flashbacks of her are always making me emo.
so many things i have done with her.
and so little i can remember.
she asked me never to give up on dance.
bud i did.
bud i know i'll return one day, stepping into the dance floor.
to fulfill and to help pursue her dream and passion.
for dance is her life.
i started dancing because of her.
remembering her pulling me into the dance floor to dance with her.
she's the one who lightened up my life, making me most of who i am.
i'll remember you irene ma, i go into ur room once in a while, and i see grandma walkin in too.
she misses u alot. and she has slimmed down so much.
pls bless her. and make her stronger.
for selfish me would not want to lose anyone else for now.
been to too much wakes.
i hate it.
i hate to see people leaving me.

2008-06-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

serene's blog made me damn emo.

clifton's passing sure did change many people's mindset.

2008-06-18T22:52:00.007+08:00

found dis ugly pic!

oh my god!

haha.

and pictures from awards ceremony and DSC AGM.

i cried during the speech of the guest of honour regarding Clifton.

bud i dunno why.

i jus teared non stop.

got to cut the twists. they look horrible. LOL.

2008-06-18T22:44:00.004+08:00

Why suffer alone?

let's stand together and fight. =)

i love you.

who's dat anyway? haha!

2008-06-16T12:37:00.002+08:00

back from YONG JIAN's BIRTHDAY CHALET!

and woah woah woah.

it turned out to be what i least expected.

it was hell.

spent the whole night clearing/cleaning PUKES and RUBBISH.

around 10 drunkards were screaming and in their own world.

wah leh and ar, me and gek were the only girls staying over la.

so we did not drink.

(for fear that the beasts will attack us. LOL)

we were like maids la seriously.

bud it was a good night spent talkin to GEK.

we locked ourselves in the room whenever we can to hide away from the guys.

bud we had to clean their PUKES on the floor and toilets every now and then.

AND! we had to prepare hot water and towels for them also!

cos dey were feeling terrible.

YONG JIAN had the worst.

he drank like no one's business.

and started puking everywhere and talking rubbish.

LOL.

oh wells, he's the birthday boy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONG JIAN!

(pls dun drink next time!)

2008-06-14T15:02:00.002+08:00

www.deathclock.com

went to this site, and found out when i'll die.

Thursday, July 23, 2082

so yea. wonder what i'll look like.

DEATH is jus another chapter of life.

who knows where we'll be going after death.

Had a ride of emotions roller coaster lately.

Its difficult to see how i manage to go through all these.

and seeing DEATH, i feel that my problems are so minor.

and that no matter what happens, i'll always think that "at least im nt dead."

and that all problems can be solved eventually.

To Clifton:

We may not be close, but i know that you are an outstanding leader and friend.
Your departure had certainly affected me in a way or another.
TP-ians always feel for each other though.
May you find happiness in the next world.

To: Maybelle

Pull yourself together k.
Its really a difficult month for u.
Jus to let you know, we'll always be there when u need us.
Don't keep everything to yourself.

To: All my friends

Its a horrible period for everyone now.
and i'll learn to treasure all of you.
cos i do not want to regret.
Brace yourselves my friends, we'll go through everything together =)

2008-06-12T01:12:00.001+08:00

wanna sleep.

so insignificant.

2008-06-10T14:05:00.001+08:00

oh my oh my.

NAT HO IS GOD-MANLY ATTRACTIVE!

hohohoho!

2008-06-08T23:32:00.001+08:00

i wanna run away.

to the nice islands of the world.

leavin all worries and problems behind.

how good is that?

bud i cant =(

2008-06-07T16:36:00.002+08:00

been living for others for too long.

guess its time to really live for myself.

thanks clique for the talk.

its really been great seeing u guys again.

may our friendship lasts =)

2008-06-04T10:56:00.004+08:00

TKD camp was FUN FUN FUN.

haha.

although i onli went on e second day, it is enough to kill.

been missing sparring for a long time.

the first time in 385386394590235 months almost got my life.

seem to have lost the momentum to fight.

bud all in all, it was worth it.

haha.

cos, its satisfying to know that u have accomplished something frm the 2 sessions of training.

and i have many hidden blueblacks after.

to top it up, muscle aches frm the back down.

cant even walk properly now.

i dun wanna give it up, cos i love it.

and did i mention e kids dere?

oh my, dey are the funniest kids ever.

some are damn disciplined even.

they know when to play and when to be serious.

unlike some adults, who onli knows how to scream like nobody's business.

*i wanna slap u bitch. someday alrite, u'll know.

e onli reason dats keepin me frm training is school.

bud its okay, cos bruce lee understands.

so yea, dun ever try to stop me frm lovin tkd.

i'll kick you.

2008-05-30T22:37:00.004+08:00

227!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

to the 227 ppl who voted for me.

dis number of votes had placed me 5th among the 20 who ran for elections.

its an increase in 89 votes frm last yr.

bud jumpin frm 15th position to 5th.

im contented =)

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 313 who voted for JIAMIN, makin her president

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 256 who voted for MAYBELLE, makin her vice president

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 254 who voted for LOULIN

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 188 who voted for LIYI

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 523 who voted for KAH YUEN

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 512 who voted for EDWIN

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 565 who voted for TAT YI

and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to the 531 who voted for JOHN

too many thank yous, too little time.

all in all, i love everyone.

esp those who VOTED.

hahhaa.

im relieved that everything is done.

and now,

STUDY FOR MA!

2008-05-30T01:02:00.004+08:00

thanks for voting.

to whoever you are, you made my day =)

and thanks all who walked up to me and said " HEY I VOTED FOR YOU!"

it really meant alot =)

i dunno how many votes i've got, and whether i'll get in nt.

i jus hope that things will be settled soon.

jus blog hopped ard, and i realized that so many ppl had helped to campaign for the 5 of us.

im damn touched eh.

i see my poster in most of the blogs i go to.

THANKS AR!

i'll rmb dem!

tmr's here!

in 15 hour's time. yea.

its like a 'thing' clinging my heart.

and its draining me away.

HORRIBLE.

on a side note,

hope gek's bf will get well soon.

nv seen gek so sad b4.

it hurts all who were concerned =)

cheer up girl!

to muaybelle too, brace up my girl!

u'll do fine eh?!

okay stop it. im getting emo.

nah luh i wun.

im positive.

eh im talkin to myself here.

BYE.

2008-05-29T02:56:00.003+08:00

Jus finished editting the proposal again!

the CC changed the objective of the event last min so we had to make amendments here and dere.

OMG. im super tired.

and im sick.

im scared of FRIDAY.

i really am.

and like i mentioned before, I LOVE MY GROUP.

hahaha.

crazy things we do.

exchanging shoes during presentation.

trying to act when thousands of leaves are flying in e air.

Racing piggy backs at reservoir and competing strength.

HAHAHA!

we played till it started to rain.

i laughed till i rolled on the floor.

i love you guys.

dun mark me down for peer evaluation pls.

HAHAHA!

2008-05-26T20:19:00.002+08:00

100 over pages worth of proposal almost drove me mad.

esp including 2 sleepless nights and irresponsible ppl.

on a side note, I MISSED PATRICK!

haha. bud nt animore.

COS HE'S BACK FROM PHILIPINES!

heh heh heh.

e pillar of e class is back here with us.

guess the class will nt feel lost again =)

SEE HOW IMPT YOU ARE.

2008-05-25T19:17:00.001+08:00

grandpa told aunt dat he is 'leavin' alr.

and is startin to delegate stuff to everyone.

askin everyone to come for dinners everyday.

doctor saes grandma may nt live long either.

sometimes i wish that im the next to leave.

at least i dun have to face all these again.

its a turmoil.

2008-05-23T21:52:00.005+08:00

the final decision is..
WE'RE RUNNING.

vote for
1) JIAMIN
2) JO-AN
3) MAYBELLE
4) LOU-LIN
5) LIYI
(our faces are acty next to each other)

haha so to all my friends, please go down cyber centre (near mensa lvl 1) to vote for us :)
drag your friends/classmates all down with you to vote k!
every single vote really counts, so pls pls pls. love you all deep deep ah like that.

CREDITS: JIA MIN

haha.

PS: I MISS JOYCE. I LOVE U MANY OKAY. AND I WANT TO SEE U AT EVERY EVENT AND CAMP!

2008-05-21T00:46:00.004+08:00

RUN!!!

Continue at Maybelle's's

2008-05-19T22:33:00.003+08:00

A window popped up at my taskbar jus now.

the true answer lies within yourself, the rest are simply lies said:

eh joan, if you got read my blog, know that you're one of those who made a difference in my life, thou it's tiny but its still is. haha.

haha. Benjamin came talkin to me.

i was caught surprised. cos we are nt very close.

our only encounter was sem 1.2, PSYCHOLOGY CLASS.

till now, we hardly speak alr.

and so i went to his blog.

from now on, i shall cherish those around me now, and i'd never regret and regret anymore. i don't want to be like the rest. ._. i want to practice what i preach. even though i have my ambitions and dreams in my life, but i'd never cast away my family. NEVER. my parents and my beloved sister are the most important people in my life.

should anything happen to them, or to any of my loved ones (including my cousins and relatives), i know for myself that i will crumble, and be a different person from what i am today. because, let's face it.

THEY MADE ME BE WHAT I AM TODAY. and this of course, includes those friends whom i have thanked for making many differences in my life.
without you, i'd be now-where near. thanks for inspiring me. *

haha. its great to know that the people ard u are cherishing you.

and do not take u for granted.

i still rmbered Ben holding a big board decorated with paper flowers and a message for her gf.

its damn sweet, bud he was very embarassed cos we were wearing formal wear for presentation.

and up till today, he is still with her. good luck to u eh!

i wanna receive a wedding invitation somewhere in e next few years!

HAHA.

2008-05-18T14:51:00.000+08:00

i tink im a selfish freak.

im sorry.

i'll change.

2008-05-15T20:37:00.002+08:00

Gek Hua says her bro reads my blog.

forgot the name.

hahaha!

thanks for reading!

x)

went ikea with mum and granny today.

and oh!

pat drove us dere.

hahaha! and with Gek as well.

total DUA weird luh.

budden its okay luh.

right LOBERT!

lol.

okay im tired of blogging alr.

may wanna close down soon.

cos dere's simply no more privacy and freedom of speech.

2008-05-15T01:30:00.005+08:00

tired.

emo.

fustrated.

alot of things happened recently.

and i realised one thing.

that friendships can be very vunerable.

one word or phrase can actually turn a 8473467306 years of friendship sour.

how many friends will actually walk with u thru all the years?

and how many will actually stand by your side no matter u are right or wrong?

even if u are sayin things that u dun usually do, or doing wrong things?

that particular few who will really believe and trust u no matter what.

and knowing that u have ur reasons for doing or saying those things.

how many friends can really understand how u feel all the time?

and how many friends will be willing to share everthing they have with u.

together in hardship and happiness.

frankly speaking, none.

mayb 1? or even 2 for some.

no one is perfect.

and no one can actually be 24/7 on standby and all.

so yea, im nt a perfect fren as well.

talk so much, im jus scolding myself.

ah sucks. my mood is way damn bad.

and i realise my blog has no privacy and freedom of speech at all.

falling sick soon.

what a timing.

all deadlines are coming.

2008-05-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

i mus sae i really LOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE my grp.

hahaha!

went ubin yest for proj field trip.

DAMN CHIONG PLS.

proj dat is due on 11 july, we plan to complete it by next week.

LOL!

its damn crazy. bud i love it.

haha! im in love with stress!

let the pictures do e talkin yo.

and oh oh! we met AH NAN. haha.

his tatoo damn cool pls.

LOL.

i've got so many things to complain!

1) my granny's maid sucks!

granny asked me to eat dinner. and THE MAID ask me to wash my own bowls as she's done cleaning up alr.

like WTF? im e maid or u're e maid?

and i tink she's ill treating my grandma and sucking up to my grandpa.

im so gonna ask grandpa to send her back to her country.

SLAP!!!

2) my cramps are killing me!

it already came late. now its flooding like NIAGARA FALLS.

to top it up, horrible cramps are so consistent.

3) tourism blog!

i've alr set up one under live journal.

now e lecturer wans it from BLOGGER!

like WTH?!!! sian lo.

4) someone

dun tell me u are busy okay.

i know what is 'busy' more than u do.

since we've alr promised to help out, we should do it all e way.

doesn't mean ur darling in army, u can jus simply neglect everything.

im utterly disappointed in you.

when have u become like this?

u are not who you are anymore.

you are jus someone who lives in a world of ur bf.

you dun need frens anymore.

bye.

5) trying to make a 5th one so its looks nice

my schedule is so packed now!

i wanna spend more time at home.

so pple!

if u wanna jio me out, 2 weeks in advance okay?

need to plan my schedule. haha.

thanks!

alrite. enough of my rantings.

on a side note, aunt says popo may nt live long alr.

mayb another 1 or 2 yrs.

cos doctor says her condition is nt good.

bud given the situation now, her being so demoralized and all, it may be even earlier.

she has no motivation or whatsoever to live.

upon hearing that grandpa is going overseas again, she's so scared.

she kept complaining that she dunno what to do.

tink e maid will bully her lo.

SLAP HER FACE HARD!

okay bye.

2008-05-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao wah lao!

i have to summarize my notes from 30 pages to 4 pages!

like WTH?!

how to!

all e notes and learning issues stuff is drivin me nuts.

its like a stone in e head.

gotta get it off soon.

on a side note, my proj group is LOVE.

haha. we are the most unhealthy group ever.

and all e guys are dirty minded too.

LOL.

we rocked luh pls.

hahahhaa.

i rmb that when i used to complain abt my grandparents as being troublesome and naggy.

bud aunt told me dat i should listen and obey them as dere is not much years that i can do that animore.

from dat moment, i understood.

since then, i listened and obeyed whatever they asked me to.

never to think dat aunt would go first.

leavin both grandparents behind.

she used to be the pillar behind all of us.

now dat she's gone, everyone's lost.

granny even told me that she dunno what to do animore.

i cant stop bud cry.

her 49th day is nearing.

i wun visit her often animore.

2008-05-05T00:53:00.005+08:00

damn SIANNNNNNNNNNNNN.

rushing projs like no one's business.

haha. my grp is damn chiong.

I LOVE IT.

haha. i have a fetish for hardworking ppl. LOL.

stress? yea i m. bud in a good way. im motivated. (=

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYBELLE!

i love ur big head and small boobies okay!

hope u enjoyed ur BBQ.

although caleb is nt ard! we can cover up for him rite!

wah lao i tink we BEST la can.

u get to sleep with me at night eh!

LOL. what an honor rite!

and stop pestering me to get a bf okay!

i dun wan it yet luh!

i enjoy singlehood!

LOL!

nonetheless, BSC AY has ended, or gonna officially end.

missed e last debrief due to client meeting.

haha. bud damn funny cos e moment i stepped into the room, i see 4 crying kids.

and 2/4 are JOYCE and MAYBELLE.

i love e girls okay!

plus mayb ryan? kok? ming? muhd?

haha. okay im weird.

i dun love guys so easily.

haha! LOVE U LA OKAY!

BSC AY0708 ROCKS.

hearing ppl sae " eh wah lao why u nt running alr? run eh!"

im happy inside cos dis showed that i've done good, and i feel wanted.

but sorry luh. I CANT.

will have a post on all main comms soon!

i promise!

im darn tired.

shall post again soon?

haha. see how luh.

its gonna be a super busy week.

=)

2008-04-29T00:38:00.003+08:00

for the past week, i kept havin flashbacks of aunt.

is it me missing her too much?

or me simply being emo?

i miss her alot man.

its making me super emo and tired.

wanted to blog dis last night bud GMAIL corrupted my mind.

did nt expect dat the last email to appear in my BSC gmail account for the AY would be an unpleasant one.

its simply super annoying.

and i mus say im being childish to play along with KENG KEE.

how stupid i was to realise after seeing JOYCE so calm.

i mus admit that JOYCE has really grown alot and dat she really deserves to be the PRESIDENT.

i love you JUMPY!

after saying so much, and being emo, frustrated, confused, stressed, and so on,

I'VE DECIDED NOT TO RUN FOR THE COMIN ELECTION.

im tired alr.

Five For Fighting Superman song has been playing in my head for the past one yr.

and i would nt wan it to repeat again the next yr.

i will still support my pillars if they decide to run.

i love you guys k.

and sorry for backing out.

wanna chiong my studies and settle on a normal life.

i wanna rest =)

2008-04-26T01:08:00.002+08:00

wah lao eh.

seriously everyone keep asking abt elections damn annoying pls.

its nt dat i wan or dun wan to run again.

its cos dere are alot of factors involved.

if i say yes, means i have to go through e same things again for one whole yr.

if i say no, i'll miss BSC alot. and i'll feel lost in sch.

ah ya. if u're nt in it b4, u will nt understand.

im so lost in my sch work luh pls.

and dis lecturer wans us to start up a blog to update a mindmap everyweek on the topic dat we have learnt.

i named the livejournal "theemoone".

haha. shows that im emo everytime i post a mindmap.

to hell man.

im so dead.

how to run main comm lidat.

seriously my commitment level will be touchin the floor.

plus SIP and stuff.

GG.

on a lighter note, BSC and KOMEZ is love.

the outings and dinners are crazy.

komez dinners are too excessive.

like crazy man.

so much so that i have to skip some cos its like every night dere is dinner gathering.

bud i still love KOMEZ okay.

haha.